My Life: Your Entertainment
The last few dates I’ve been on have been far from a love connection! I come from a super saved Pentecostal family. A “Praise Jesus”, “Hallelujah”,”Amen”,”Jesus is on the mainline”, and “Glory” super saved Pentecostal Family. So maybe the reason I’m not finding quality men is because I’m not super saved. I decided to do the closest thing to getting saved. I chose my next man from a church! Enter The Bible Thumper!
I never understood why men think because you liked, loved or crushed on them in the past if they see you months and years later that you still have those same exact feelings. That brings us to “The King of Zamunda”.
We were cool for a couple of months and I was really feeling buddy, but then he got up on his high horse. I like to follow that Maya Angelou quote “The first time someone shows you who they are, believe them.” So I threw in the towel. I haven’t saw “The King of Zamunda” in months, but one night I was at Club 23 and we ran into each other. It was the normal “Hey”, “What you been up to?” “You look nice” conversation and they we went on our separate ways.
A friend of mine said it was a low blow when I called this person a “Failed Athlete”, but he labeled himself. He didn’t literally name himself a failed athlete, but he did force me to!
My friend Brandon invited me downtown for the FSU/MIA football game. I originally thought when he invited me to the viewing party that I would meet the normal white college boy. The ones that always wear their school’s paraphernalia with jeans or khaki shorts, and flip flops, but I guess because I expected that that’s why it didn’t happen.
Rick Fox of the Los Angeles Lakers was my first NBA crush. So, it makes sense why I gave the next guy my number. He looked like Rick Fox. He had a caramel complexion and “good hair.
He is a 38 year old, divorced man with two kids from Baltimore. His age did bother me a little bit because my mom is 44 years YOUNG. (Oh! I forgot I went out with 71yr old, “Granddad Freeman”, so maybe 38 isn’t that bad) The only thing I knew about Baltimore was HBO’s “The Wire.
I’m not saying the men I usually go for aren’t smart but they were the C average, cheated on test, had people help them with their homework, went to class half of the time, type of students. I was thinking it was about time to date someone who lived and died by their education. Enter the Harvard graduate.
I’m not looking for “A One”; I’m looking for “The One”! So I figured this person could come in any size. My date with “Notorious B.I.G” happened by accident. I was at a night club called “Dragon Room” when I noticed someone eyeing me from across the room. Now I’ll be honest if he wasn’t in the VIP I wouldn’t even paid him any attention because he wasn’t attractive at all. I looked at him and the lyrics from B.I.G.’s song popped in my head “Fat, black and ugly as ever! However, I stay Coogi down to the socks”. I walked to the restroom that was a few steps away from his table in the VIP.I came out the restroom and pretended to look for something in my clutch. I pulled out my lip gloss and looked up and he motioned me to come towards his direction. He moved his rowdy friends so I could find a place to sit and he grabbed a champagne glass and started to fill it up.
On my quest to think outside the box I went out with a 71 year old. I know, I know I’m 24. Why would I want to go out with a 71 year old? I figured I would have a good conversation and a free meal. He showed up to the lunch date with a gold medallion on, you know like the ones people wore in the 70s-80s with their bellbottoms. He also had on Kangol hat tilted to the side. I kind of chuckled to myself.
Where do I begin? Well, I’m 24 and I’ve realized I don’t date. The past nine years of my life have been dedicated to two men and to be honest if I describe their physical characteristic they would sound like twins. I stick to the same type. Tall, a dark complexion, fade haircut, no tattoos, Southern accents, athletic build, with a huge personality to match.
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