You, the readers get a chance to become the blogger. You can post your dating woes, funny dating stories, relationship stories, life problems or if you just need to scream you can do it on this forum. Only rule…DON’T use a person’s first and last name! Click the “Comment” button and blog away.
I am currently in an exclusive r-ship & my bf has hinted tht he is ready for the next step. However, my friends & fam feel tht im not ready. My friends & fam asked me, who is my ideal mate. Well, within .05 seconds I responded “DM.” Well, tht sent them into a whirlwind b/c they felt I should have said Big Daddy. I do luv Big Daddy but I am infatuated with D.M. I have been missing him so much recently. I never had sex with him, but we definitely had a strong emotional connection. Such a strong emotional connection tht Big Daddy says my voice changes 2 octaves when I tlk abt DM (me & Big Daddy tlk abt failed r-ships/friendships- he knows abt my exes & I know abt his). DM is 10yrs younger than me & I know tht i could never have a future with him, but I did/still cherish his friendship. He just disappeared & never txt me again…….. & I didnt txt him. So now, I havent talked to him in almost 1yr. I deleted his phone # & email address so tht i wouldnt be tempted to contact him. He is on Twitter but I wouldnt dare try tht route, since he hasnt contacted me. I dnt want him to feel that Im bothering him or trying to pressure him into a friendship/r-ship with me. So, how do i get over him? And, pls, no1 suggest tht I tweet him, b/c i will NOT….i refuse to look thirsty. Is there some type of meditation or hypnosis tht I can try? Or, will it just eventually go away? And yes, I have checked his Twitter page just to see wht he’s up to *hangs head in shame*. I do luv my bf & I see a future with him. I just gotta get rid of this infatuation so tht Big Daddy can have all of me. Is this a normal part of dating tht u can hold onto to some1 mentally even tho u luv some1else? Do ppl get married knowing they have luv/infatuation for some1 else? So many questions…….
Getting over some1 takes time. How much time…I’m not sure because it varies from person to person. However, I do think you have a good thing going with Big Daddy and if DM wanted to be with you, he would have. Don’t end up messing a good stable situation for a “maybe” 1. Just keep doing what you’re doing. Don’t contact and let’s hope time will make thoughts of him disappear!
Sounds like u got a man who wants to be with u exclusively….let go of “DM”. I don’t mean to sound harsh but if DM wanted to be with u he would be with u.
Is anybody else watching the webseries RoomieLoverFriends on YouTube? If so, what did you think of this last episode?
Oh, Lawd…I loved it! I cant wait for the next episode. I think the girlfriend was being shady.
I enjoyed it.
My Thoughts: Tamiko needs to “Get her Life.” She sexing guys too quickly without any rational thinking. I felt a lil’ crunchy (yeah I used old skool slang) 4 Tamiko when Cherisse asked Aiden , “Well, how long yall been knowing each other?” Cherisse knew she was throwing Tamiko under the bus b/c she knew they had just met at tht Halloween party, b/c she was there giving Tamiko the stink eye, while Jay watched Tamiko all nite.
Now, Cherisse is shady. She has some nerve to be in Tamiko’s apt with an attitude. She will have to chalk it up to the game tht Tamiko & Jay sexed each other. Both of the guys are nice looking.
P.S. I thought Tamiko having a twin sister was CORNY!
Rapid,
Yeah, I didn’t like that whole twin sister thing for Tamiko either. Cherisse just needs to tell Jay to move out. She is never going to trust him alone with Tamiko at that apt.
Tamiko is better than me I would have put Cherisse out after the 1st text message. PERIOD! Oh yeah, I forgot about the halloween party jay was eyeing Tamiko down.
Yeah, I concur about the twin sister thing…I dont feel bad for Cherisse because they were broken up when this thing started with Tamiko and Jay. I agree that she needs to tell Jay to move out…I also think that the way she went about this whole thing with Tamiko; sending the picture *that was clearly meant for Jay* and the texting at the breakfast table was so not cute. And, if she has him, like she texted Tamiko, why does she feel the need to reiterate it.
As far as Tamiko goes; I think she needs to just get it together.
Where is SatinDoll?
Hey pretty lady!
Present! lol
Been super busy with school…My son graduate in 7 months; busy with colleges as well…Things are just beginning to settle…give me a few.
Hi, miss Rapid Relief!
Hey Miss Satin Doll!!! Glad 2 hear u r doing well.
Hey all yall! I miss you guys! I’m back. Gotta read all the comments to see what yall been up to.
Hey you! Welcome back! We have missed you around here…hope all is well.
Thanks satindoll! Yes, everything is good. Have a Happy Thanksgiving everyone!
Same to you!!!
I love the question game.i know i’m late, but i have question too.
Michael Jackson or Prince
Whitney Houston or Janet Jackson
Drama or Comedies
Chris Tucker or Chris Rock
Rocky Road or Cookie Dough
Ciroc or Grey Goose
McDonald’s or Burger King
Daytime or Nighttime
Hey Janisha!! Thanks for reading my blog! =)
Michael Jackson or Prince- I’ll go with Michael Jackson and leave Prince for my mom who’s been in love with him since day 1.
Whitney Houston or Janet Jackson-Those two artist are like comparing orange and apples. I LOVE some Janet Jackson she is my fav., but when I need a good ballad about love, lost, heartbreak Whitney is my choice.
Drama or Comedies-Dramedy
Chris Tucker or Chris Rock-I love Chris Tucker, but I’ll go with Chris Rock b/c he’s constantly producing new material. Chris Tucker just said “the hell” with movies.
Rocky Road or Cookie Dough-Cookie Dough
Ciroc or Grey Goose- Ciroc! How can you not like it. The ads are EVERYWHERE and it’s inexpensive
McDonald’s or Burger King- McDonald’s….mmmm MangoPineapple Smoothie all day!
Daytime or Nighttime-Ray Charles says the night time is the right time. So night time
So I just finished watching the news on Ochocinco and Evelyn legal drama! This is so crazy…I do not condone domestic violence by any means but what in the world? I really hope that they decided at that moment that this relationship is done. I am not sure if it is publicity stunt as others are saying (because of their show that is scheduled to come out next month) but I just think it’s foolishness. I am one who lives for herself and family but I also have such a high pride that I would not be caught dead in a situation like that….I would not have went through this if I saw all the warning signs…I would want to defy the odds…the world says my marriage won’t last and I’m gonna prove them wrong….or I’m not getting married at all…LOL…she is claiming he head butted her and he said it was here…I wasn’t there but I see here slapping not head butting him when she found that receipt for condoms…..but call me crazy! LOL I hope they figure this out as she is getting slammed in the media…he was released from the Dolphins…his own city….and others are laughing saying I didn’t know this would happen so fast…less than the other record of shortest celebrity marriages….72 days!
This is my Talk About It Tuesday Comment. I reposted this comment on there for you.
hey natoya,
i like your blog and i never commented, but i do want to ask questions.
1. do you have any tattoos?
2. who is your favorite girl group
3. would you ever meet any of your readers
4. why doesn’t your mom comment anymore
5. do you have siblings
6. i remeber a post and you said you were on a jet ski, you can’t swim, but you jet ski?
7. what’s your favorite ice cream
8. if you travel what was your favorite place to visit
Hey Vanessa,
Thank for reading!
1. Yes, I have 3. One on my lower back (tramp stamp…#dontjudgeme I was 18), my stomach, and my left foot.
2. TLC!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! CrazySexyCool puts me in a good mood every time I listen to it.
3. Yeah, hopefully one day we can all have a meet and greet. =)
4. My mom has been ultra busy with work. Also, she made a point to comment because she wanted other people to comment, now people comment all the time so she doesn’t feel the need to start the dialogue.
5. Two brothers, I’m the middle child
6. Yes, I jet ski…that handy dandy life jacket keeps me safe.
7. Cookie Dough (yummy)
8. The place I had THE MOST fun was Cali. Jamaica had the best food. I liked NY,but I liked it better when I went during the summer versus when I went during the winter time (I hate cold weather). I wasn’t that big of a fan of New Jersey. Miami is always a blast…it’s just hot as hell! I like visiting Atlanta, I wouldn’t want to live there though…okay I can go on and on
Reply to NatoyaEbony’s questions:
1.Favorite all time TV show? so many to choose from Living Single, Different World, Martin, The OC (I had to have one white show in the mix)
2. Favorite color? dark purple but im starting to like hot pink
3. What state do you live in? South Carolina
4. What’s your occupation? 1st year Master’s student
5. If you had to choose one…would you marry for love or money? (be honest) Of course for love, but he gotta have money…so maybe more so money now
6. What’s your zodiac sign? the all mighty scorpio
7. Favorite food? soul food esp rice and gravy
8. What’s your favorite cocktail? nothing fancy– vodka and cranberry, rum and coke
9. Tell us something random about yourself: I just started driving on the interstate and Im 22
10. What else would you like to see on NatoyaEbony.com
pics too
@BlackSwan
I loved The OC. Mischa Barton messed herself and the show up when she left!!!!
What are you getting you Master’s in? And yes to soul food!
I hated that the OC killed her off like that. I am getting my Master’s in City Planning, a professional program.
Okay, this is for you, Ebony.
1. Would you consider getting back with boy # 2, if he wants to try again?
2. Are you in love with Flex?
3. If you were not blogging, what would you be doing?
4. I know you started this blog because of boy # 2, do you believe that it was therapeutic for you?
5. Do you have a crush on the International Player?
6. What’s your sign?
7. Wine or Cocktails?
8. After you obtain your Master’s, will you be going back for your Doctoral? If yes, in what field?
9. Are you glad you started this blog?
Yeah, that is pretty much it. Lol
1. No, I don’t like what we bring out of each other. #Craziness #Madness
2. NO! It was lust. All lust.
3. The same thing I do now. School and work. Blogging is a hobby. I wish I got paid for it though.
4. It was very therapeutic. Sometimes just talking about things makes a person feel better. Maybe I should have kept a journal so my rants and vents would have been more personal because once you put something out on the internet it’s OUUUUUT there and that’s not always a good thing.
5. I use to… an innocent school girl crush. He was like the cool high schooler who played football and dated the hot cheerleader…and I felt like the dorky freshman who was just happy he knew my name. LOL (Speaking of him, I haven’t heard from him in a while)
6. Taurus
7. It depends on what I’m doing and where I am at. My favorite out of the two wines is white wine especially the sweet ones. My favorite cocktail is either Raspberry Lemon Drop Martini or a Patron Margarita.
8. Let me get through these next 7 classes for my Master’s without pulling my hair out and I’ll let you know.
9. Yes, I’m glad I started it more so because it gave other people a forum to tell their stories and comment without being judge or ridiculed. If you read the comment sections to blog sites people are cursing each other out and I’m happy I’ve provided a forum where people can disagree with integrity and grace.
Thanks for sharing.
@ # 7…Try Duplin’s; Brice’s Creek, Carlos, Magnolia, and Scuppernong; they are Muscadine white wines. Very inexpensive. My favorite is Haterass Red, Blush and their seasonal wine. (naughty & Nice). Also, try Dennis Vineyard Winery…His is also Muscadine wines, the difference are; dry, semi- dry, and sweet.
Lol @ #8…okay.
@ #9…I, too, have notice that the comment sections on most blogs are very nasty. I do not even read them anymore…I need my sanity. Lol.
Natoya,
I just started reading your blog, so maybe the questions I am asking has been answered before, but here goes anyway.
1. What made you start this blog?
2. What is your favorite television show of all time?
3. What is the goal for your blog?
4. What are you going to school for?
5. Do your friends know you blog about them?
Also, you refer to yourself and people in your post call you Ebony. Is that your first or middle name?
1. Boredom, heartbreak, and crazy dates. My mom thought my dating stories were funny so she suggested I blog about them, so I did. Months and months later she revealed that she suggested I blog because I was walking around with a broken heart and talking about it would help. I don’t know how she figured I would eventually talk about it, but it worked.
2. A Different World. That show NEVER gets old to me. I was just watching episodes from Season 2 last night.
3. I don’t have a goal…it really started as a hobby. I thought about ideas for it, but right now it’s a hobby.
4. I’m going to school now for a Master’s in Management. I received my Political Science and minor in Religion degree from FAMU.
5. I don’t really blog about them anymore. At first I did, but eventually you have to find boundaries. I don’t want my friends and family scared to tell me anything in fear it will end up on my blog. So, their problems only end up in the blog if they tell me to put it in the blog. And trust me sometimes they call and say “I have problem…blog about it so I can see what people have to say.”
Ebony is my first name. Natoya is my middle name.
@Ebony…
Where you thinking of being a lawyer at some point in your life? I saw what your undergrad was in and was curious!
I did at FAMU Law School…but that thought was short lived. LOL
LOL…I figured!
@ Sarah T
1. What do you like about the blog?
2. Why that career field? Other than the obvious.
3. Would you relocate? If yes, where?
4. What do you like about Georgia?
5. Single or married?
6. Kids?
@SatinDoll
1. What do you like about the blog?
I like NatoyaEbony’s honesty. I came across this site while looking for articles discussing Sandusky-Penn State drama. I read her Talk About It Tuesday post and then started clicking around the site and found her honesty and story telling refreshing.
2. Why that career field? Other than the obvious.
Animals are easier to deal with than humans because they can’t talk back.
3. Would you relocate? If yes, where?
I never thought about it. So, I guess not.
4. What do you like about Georgia?
I like our weather. Florida only has 2 seasons.(Hot and kind of hot) We get all 4 seasons and really love my community.
5. Single or married?
Single.
6. Kids?
No, but I have bull dog named Rocket and he sometimes makes me feel like I have a child
@ Sarah T.
Thanks for sharing.
Your answer to # 1; yes, she is a doll…Very honest.
Lol @ # 2
I guess Honey Child was on to something when she posted her 10 questions. So, I’m going to ask 10 questions and anybody feel free to answer.
1.Favorite all time TV show?
2. Favorite color?
3. What state do you live in?
4. What’s your occupation?
5. If you had to choose one…would you marry for love or money? (be honest)
6. What’s your zodiac sign?
7. Favorite food?
8. What’s your favorite cocktail?
9. Tell us something random about yourself
10. What else would you like to see on NatoyaEbony.com
If you have questions for me…feel free to post them.
1.Favorite all time TV show?
Friends
2. Favorite color?
Yellow
3. What state do you live in?
Georgia
4. What’s your occupation?
Vet’s Assistant
5. If you had to choose one…would you marry for love or money? (be honest)
Right now money, but once I become a vet love!
6. What’s your zodiac sign?
Cancer
7. Favorite food?
Shrimp Scampi
8. What’s your favorite cocktail?
Appletini
9. Tell us something random about yourself?
I didn’t learn how to ride a bike until I was 10.
10. What else would you like to see on NatoyaEbony.com
More post on the pictures and video tab
@Sarah T
I love Friends too. I never watched it when it was originally on, but one summer I rented the entire series and I was planted on the couch all day watching back to back to back episodes.
I love shrimp, but I’m not that big of fan of shrimp scampi…but I do love a good appletini.
I do need to get better about posting pics and videos.
Here goes….
1. Dynasty (yeah, dont judge me…lol)
2. Brown (latelyI have been wearing a lot of black)
3. Florida.
4. Business Consultant (Work with small businesses)…I also do volunteer work for the Guardian Ad Litem program…Previously, Own and operate a daycare…oh, and student…Mother to one.
5. Depends (which comes first, lol)…I kid…no, I am not.
6. Capricorn.
7. Halibut with mixed veggies, coupled with baked tomatoes.
8. I rather Chocolate Martini…I am a wine drinker, though.
9. I am still in love with my ex…( I believe its the post “Unsure Thing).
10. You have everything covered, thus far.
@SatinDoll
Red or white wine? If you like red wine and your favorite martini is the chocolate one, you might want to try the Chocolate flavored red wine. My mom loves it. I’ll get the name of it for you.
LOL to your answer to the #5 question. Wow, you’re a Floridan…like me.
Red…I like white as well; depends though. Okay, thanks!
correction: its “The Ratio: 100 Females to 87 Males?” post.
1. The Unit
2. Blue
3. Louisiana
4. Nurse Practitioner
5. Money
6. Scorpio
7. Southern cooking (beef tip & rice, Jiffy cornbread, yams, red bean & rice, fried chicken/fish, greens) & pasta
8. Skittles- i call it the “ghetto” drink. Its sweet & the sweetness hides the alcohol. Will get u f*cked up. Some bartenders will even drop a few Skittles at the bottom of the glass
9. Im really silly & 1/4 hood. LOL
10. More updates
6.
@RapidRelief
I remember you did say you liked The Unit, remember you were trying to help me out with The Government Assistant and then I found out he way lying!!!
My Aunts and cousins are actually going to New Orleans on Wed….I know they are going to have a good time.
You could NEVER go wrong with southern cooking. There is nothing like greens, cornbread (Jiffy do be on point) and fried chicken
Your skittles drink reminds me of “hunch punch”. People through in all this alcohol and then disguise it with pineapple juice and fruit punch. Those drinks always get people messed up
LOL at 1/4 hood.
1. CSI Miami (ugh they cancelled it!)
2. Kelly Green
3. Virginia
4. Used to be in Healthcare Administration now I am a Registered Nurse as I just completed my BSN
5. Love…we have been married over 9 years…we were broke when we got married but he was a hard worker and my earning potential was great….LOL
6. Aquarius
7. Curry Chicken, Rice and Peas, Fried Plaintain, Mixed Vege-when I don’t feel like cooking our entire family loves Mexican!
8. I am not sure if this is a cocktail…but favorite drink is Amaretto sour/Wine is Moscato…other than that I’m the designated driver
9. I write paper’s for others for a price
10. I wish I could get a text message to my phone when a new blog is posted!
@satindoll,
I havent 4gotten abt u either, missy. Wht happened 2 “Peeping Tom?” Did u press charges r did u leave it alone bcuz it was 2 stressful?
No, I did not press charges…Yeah, too stressful…However, I did speak with him about it, and told him that he needs to get some help. He was more upset that I found out that anything. *sigh* I did not even waste my time showing him how wrong it was on so many levels.
I was so disgusted with myself for being with him in the first place…I did want to press charges, but I felt stupid for being with someone like that.
@ Ebony
Is it possible for you to send an email to Tameka? Just to touch base.
I just sent her one
Thanks!
I want to ask questions too! Good idea Logan!
1. Chicken or Pork?
2. Sex or Making Love?
3. Pool or Beach?
4. Boy #1 or Boy #2
5. Flex or The Business Owner
6. Reading or Watching TV
7. Joseline or Mimi (I know you watch LHHATL )
8. Michael Jackson or Prince
9. Daytime or Nighttime
10. Tequila or Vodka
Hey Honey Child,
1. Pork (I eat it all. Bacon, ham, sausage, chitterlings (aka chitlins)…#DontJudgeMe
2. Depends on what mood I’m in.
3. I can’t swim, so no matter what body of water it is I only go waist deep, if a life jacket isn’t involved.
4. Neither!
5. The Business Owner
6. Both.
7. Joseline…she’s makes for good reality TV.
8. I’ll say MJ…and I’ll leave Prince to my mom. She’s a huge Prince fan. She was actually watching Purple Rain last night.
9. Depends what I’m doing.
10. Tequila…Patron, Don Julio,1800 Jose Cuervo, Sauza…I’ve had it all. #Shame
@Logan & Honeychild, the questions were a gr8 idea! *raising hand while bouncing up & down* Can we ALL play?! NatoyaEbony, maybe u shud start posting some questions.
Lol…awww @#%$
Ok, ya’ll I have a long story but I will keep it short.
I have a cheating problem and its been on the same dude, 3 times over the past 5 years (we have been off and on during those 5 years, but the cheating happened when we were “on’). He knows about the first time and he took me back, so we are together now and have been for a year. But he doesn’t know about the 2 times this summer.
I don’t blame him or make excuses for it but some things are lacking in our rship. I want to break it off but I can’t, its too hard because he loves me so much.
I am in some trouble…
@BlackSwan
If you want to continue in the relationship…I say go to counseling. There is something that you are looking for that your relationship isn’t providing. I think you guys should both go and maybe talk about what’s lacking in the relationship. ( I only suggested this just in case you wanted the relationship to work!)
I feel like you’re cheating him as well as your self if you continue to cheat on him throughout this relationship. He deserves a faithful woman and you deserve to be in a relationship that satisfies ALL of your needs.
I know how u feel. I get bored easily in r-ships. I had just called my bff & told her i think i needed counselling. I called my bff not b/c i was actively cheating, but b/c i was thinking abt some1 & we all know how thoughts can develop n2 actions. The guy i was thinking abt had asked me 2 work out with him on last wk & i DID DECLINE, however i regretted it the next day & was thinking “Dang, i coulda worked out with him without being tempted.” My bff was like, “Naw, aint no telling wht woulda happened during tht work out.” To me, sometimes i function more like a guy, meaning if i feel i have conquered u, im looking 4 a new challenge. And, i know i have daddy issues, so im not sure if thts where it is stemming from. Plus, its always fun 2 have ur cake & brownie too, but, unfortunately, some1 will always get hurt. IF i could find a man tht wud let me do me, but always provide a stable home environment 4 me, shamefully, i wud go 4 tht. But, i have NEVER found a man thts willing 2 share. So, i agree with NatoyaEbony tht u need counselling & I may need 2 go with u.
NatoyaE.,
I’ve been reading your post since the ‘Drinking Deacon”.LMAO! (I wonder whatever happened to him?) As a reader I feel like I know you, but I’m sure what you post on your website is 10% (if that much) of your entire life. Last night was game night at my house and we asked 21 questions and I figured I would ask you some of the ones we did. Don’t worry I won’t make you answer all 21!
1. What’s your favorite color?
2. Who’s your favorite artist of all time?
3. Favorite curse word?
4. Favorite reality show?
5. What really went down in college? (You know that incident you keep talking about, but not talking about)
6. Favorite position?
7. Favorite food?
8. Favorite thing to do in your free time?
9. Favorite Movie?
10. And will you blog forever?
Hey Logan,
Thanks for reading!! LOL, you’re talking about “The Bible Thumper” I haven’t saw or heard from him in a while. Thank you for sparing me all 21 questions…LOL
1.Green
2. Janet mothereffen Jackson
3.I don’t have a favorite, but I’m sure the one I say the most is F*** (not lady-like at all)
4. Even though it was just one season…”Being Bobby Brown” was the best reality show ever!
5. I’ll tell one day…
6. LOL…ummmm (I’ll have to pass, my family might read this)
7. I like EVERYTHING with the exception of coon and deer. (I know, I’m southern) My favorite type of food though is hands down Mexican!
8. Watch movies. I actually go the movies ALOT by myself! It’s very calming. I get the popcorn in the black bag from the gas station and a Pepsi…leave my cell in the car and I’m good to go.
9. I have a few, so I’ll name my top favs. Poetic Justice, Love Jones, Boomerang, Clueless, School Daze, Juno,Friday, Mean Girls, The BodyGuard, Dreamgirls, What’s Love Got To Do With It, A Family that Preys, Harlem Nights…I’ll just stop because I’ll be naming all day.
10. Not really sure…
Good game questions, Logan! You’re are soo silly Natoya with those answers!!
Ok, so I was enjoying my day off, shopping at JC Penney when I feel some1 close on my heels. I slowed down to allow them to pass, when I hear a females voice say, “You are to dressy for Wal-Mart & Penney’s. You can wear that to work, but not to Wal-Mart.” I turn around to see this female dressed in her Walmart uniform (navy shirt & khakis). Im so confused, b/c I had just left Walmart, so Im thinking #1- Is she talking to me b/c she never formally addressed me & #2- Is she following me? I stop to look at a shirt & try to figure out wht just happened. Then, I moved across the aisle to look at a dress that had caught my eye. I look up, & there she is again. I refuse to jeopardize my nursing license over foolishness. And, the funny part is tht my “dressy” outfit costs all of $20. I paired it with a necklace, so maybe tht made it “flashy.” I wear scrubs 75% of the time, so pls excuse me for wanting to look nice on my day off. So, my question of the day is: How can we advance as a community/AA race, if we constantly attack each other? #can’twealljustgetalong
@RapidRelief
Okay, right before I read this post I read this article about Gabby Douglas http://shine.yahoo.com/team-mom/defense-gabby-douglas-hair-191700322.html
It is exactly what you are talking about. This 16 year old African American girl is in London winning gold in the Olympics and people (African American people) are tweeting about her hair? WTF?
We do bring each other down…sometimes!
and this was a excerpt from the article
“Some critics insist that Douglas needs to properly represent the African American community, and how her hair looks is part of that. And yet, most of the negative comments about her hair are coming from other African Americans.”
This is a mf shame! Im not on twitter but other blogs picked up the story. She’s a cute girl & she has to slick her hair back so tht she can be up 2 her best performance. I didnt see beady-bees around her head so i can care less. The AA community, esp the women, are tooooooo critical of each other. Im sick of it. I must admit (& am ashamed 2 admit) tht if im walking anywhere by myself, i h8 having to pass a group of AA women. My heart skips a beat & i think “Oh shyt!” b/c i know they will have smtg to say or will give me an ugly look. Mean Women. Anyway, i know to be cognizant of my surroundings & worry abt being assaulted by a man ,but i never knew i had to also worry abt the women. SMMFH!!!!!
That is such nonsense…wow @Rapidrelief I joined your profession! Yayyy…and I’m always dressed up! Do you….let others speak foolishness I’m sorry but she will continue to be in those same clothes not advancing if she is continues to stay closed minded.
^^^Ditto!
*screaming* Where is Tameka????!!!!!!!!!!
^^^^ Ditto!
Yeah, where is Tameka?!
I’m dating a clean cut wholesome guy. He’s great on paper. He’s always prim and proper. I am happy because most of my time has been spent with the bad boys! Our sex life is prim and proper, clean, and wholesome. I like wild sex not everytime, but here and there. I feel that our sex is so contrived. Kiss, take of clothes, missionary, done. Should I just break out my inner freak out of no where and see if he’s down or should I tell him that we’re a A everywere else in our rship but a C- in the bedroom.
@ Salsa&Margaritas
Option B…try that and see how it works; not in those words, though.
He might surprise you.
He sounds like a great guy…I say take charge of one of your intimacy times….maybe not all the way in at one time but maybe change the position and lead the way as a start! Lol he might surprise you and grab that waist! He might actually be holding back because he doesn’t want you to know he is a freak because he really likes you. He might want a really serious relationship with you and sometimes people hold back and decide to do something different so they can get something different…
^^^^^^^^^ Ditto!
I say let out ur inner freak. Surprise him. He’ll prolly enjoy it greatly.Now, dnt get too freaky (e.g., try to play with his anus). If he doesnt like it, just let him kno u like to switch it up sometimes & see if ya’ll can come 2 an agreement.
I have a concern. I have been dating this guy for about 4 months. Everything is good so far, but he hangsout with alot of homosexuals. When I say alot he has been to gay clubs and he has a few friends. is that odd? Is he bi? Or am I thinking too much…I mean homosexuality isn’t a secret anymore.
@ I Hate DirectTV
Umm…wow…I mean, I don’t know what to say.
Ebony? Rapid Relief? Anyone?
*sips water*
I think he definitely relates 2 homosexuals in some sorta way. Why, is the important question? And, has he acted on it? Im thinking he is another Frank Ocean……just not ready 2 come out yet. Watch 4 red flags (cuz us ladies love 2 ignore warning signs)- Keep those eyes & ears open!!!
Go with your intuition!!!!! If you feel like some shady business is going on…IT PROBABLY IS!
Oh and Rapid I LOVE LOVE LOVE Frank Ocean’s album!
SatinDoll damn water…pours Riesling.
@ Ebony,
Lol…I like his song “I miss you”…I don’t know much about him and his music, though.
I read his “coming out letter” & I have NEVER read anythg so beautiful. It was powerful & it touched my soul. I felt his luv, i felt his pain. I havent purchased his new CD. I just bought Tank 2day (Yes, im behind on my music). Im jamming Tank rite now.
Frank Ocean’s album is on heavy rotation in my car!! I LOVE IT!!!!
His coming out letter was emotional…Nicely written as well.
@Rapid Relief
Dont worry I am stuck in the 60s and 70s…I love oldies but goodies kind of music.
Have you seen any signs? I agree that us women like to ignore signs at times.having the friends is not such a big deal but just make sure that he has a variety of friends because most men have “boys” Just saying!
FYI I hate directv too…I just switched yesterday they tripping!
@ Loverbynature
Hey! how are you?
I concur…some women likes to ignore warning signs. I just dont know how to advise @ I Hate DirectTV; I would be blogging about it too. Lol…I also know that I probably would be looking for an exit strategy.
Hey @Satindoll! How are you? I feel like I’m close to all you all because of Ebony! Love her blogs! @ihatedirectv yes directv had me mad…it’s back now! Lol But I already jumped ship! Oh well my bill will be cheaper for at least a year although i won’t have Wetv…oh well! Take those signs seriously though…I’m just saying if he not sure then he not straight! Lol
@ Loverbynature
I am doing great! I know, right…you guys are my e-besties Lol
BTW Natoya, I live for your post. I feel like we are BFFs. LMAO
@Rapid Relief the biggest flag Ive encounterd was him openly admitting he’s been to gay clubs. I have a gay cousin and even though his brothers accepts his lifestyle they dont go to gay bars with him. Ive been too a few but its different when a girl goes versus a man (double standard, i know)
@Natoya and SatinDoll drop the water and Riesling and break out the Grey Goose or Patron!
@LoverByNature Yes, DirectTv has me heated. They took all the channels I watch. I might have to jump ship and the 10$ they are offering to deduct from my bill isn’t cutting it. I need them to deduct 2 to 5$ per channel they took.
I might have to bail out this situation. Something tells me there is more to this story. Like he dabbled with men at one point and even if that’s true I don’t want to deal with. Men find it cute when they girl messes with girls occasional. It is not cute when a man messes with men occasionally. (i know double standard)
@ I Hate DirectTV
Lol…I just thought it was a bit too early to start drinking. Lol Vodka is not my friend…I thread very lighly when I have my Chocolate Martini. #thingshappensicantdiscuss Lol
@IHateDirecTV, pls disregard my above msg, tht was meant 4 Salsa&Margaritas. YOU do NOT need 2 b playing with ur bf’s anus, cuz he might just like it (U kno i HAD 2 go there, it was too easy). Anyway, u r correct, no str8 man will willingly go 2 a gay club. #1- They dnt wana be seen, #2- they arent comfortable. Your man relates some sorta way 2 his gay male friends. Maybe he was molested as a child, maybe he is confused abt his sexuality. But, whatever it is, he shouldnt have a “beard” (you). Its snot rite 4 him 2 string women along. He needs 2 figure out who he is. I doubt he will ever admit his true feelings 2 u b/c of fear & rejection. Just keep ur eyes open. And some gay men luv to tlk, see if u hear anythg abt him from the streets (Im tryna sound hard & hood)….LOL. U know them streets b talking!
I just had a baby. My father’s son is being an ass. A complete ASS! Everybody is thinking I should put him on child support, but I love him and I want this family to work so I refuse. My friend said I was choosing my baby’s father over my baby because I want put him on child support, but I just want my baby’s father to do what is right. Am i being stupid.
U didnt elaborate on him being an azz, so I will assume it includes partying, drinking, cheating, pulling disappearing acts, not spending time with ur son, & no financial support. NONE of his actions are showing u love & mos def are not showing ur son love, so y r u more concerned abt the boyfriends feelings and NOT ur son’s well being?!! Let me scratch tht…..u didnt even address him as a boyfriend or even fiance, u pretty much addressed him as ur childs father aka sperm donor. R ya’ll even 2gether (in a r-ship)? Im not tryna be hard on u, but u r holding onto 2 a fantasy of ya’ll having a family, when he is showing u & ur son the complete opposite. For ur son’s sake, put him on child support. To hell with hurting the father’s feelings. How did the father behave/act b4 the pregnancy? Was the pregnancy planned? How old is the father? Does he have other children? Is he gainfully employed? So many questions………. And i think ur answers 2 my questions will give u better insight n2 ur situation
I’m so sorry it to me sooo long to reply. I agree with Rapid Relief.
It seems like you are putting your baby’s father before your child. I think it would make your life much easier if you put him on child support because Uncle Sam will make sure you get your money before your baby father gets his own money. If you want to be nice, you can always go to the courts and have them modify the payments…meaning you could come up with a monthly payment that you and your baby father both agree on.
I think you should be less worried about your baby’s father feelings and more worried about your child’s stability.
@ LateNightsEarlyMornings
Elaborate a bit more, please. You did not say if you and him are living together or what the situation is/are with both of you guys…Just that he is “being a complet @##$%”…
Hey everyone! I know I have been missing in action. My job had me traveling which was a good thing because it gave me sometime to distance myself from my now ex boyfriend. Yes, I broke it off. I couldn’t do it any longer. I was literally driving my self crazy. No amount of money can bring you back from crazy, LOL… I’m good now. Not dating anyone at this present time. I’m just focusing on me right now. I hope everything is good with natoyaebony, satindoll, rapid relief.
Tameka!!!! Hi!!! I thought about you the other day and was like I wonder what happened to her. Oh, Lord she finally snapped on her boyfriend.
If breaking it off makes you feel better, I’m happy you broke it off!!!
I have thought abt u & was going write in the comment section, “Where is Tameka?” Glad u r doing ok & glad YOU made the decision 2 step away from a situation that was causing u mental & emotional distress.
And, not tryna discourage u, but the healing process is only now beginning & may takes months to a year. Hang in there. He WILL try 2 come back & will promise better behavior, counselling, etc. It should be YOUR choice of wht u want 2 do. The end result tht we ALL want u 2 have is love, peace, & joy. And we want u happy with the man in ur life. I Corinthians 13:4-7 is the type of love I pray for, I wish u the same. Be Blessed!
@ Tameka
Hey you! I was wondering what you were up to. You know whatever decision you make, we will support you. If removing yourself from that situation give you peace, then so be it. If you are happy; we are happy! Just know that we are embarking on this journey with you. Stay strong.
My good friend’s boyfriend has been trying to come at me. I saw him out a month ago and he bought me a drink I accepted it because I didn’t think nothing of it, but later that night he made a remark about I owed him a dance becaause he bought me a drink. I laughed it off.
This past weekend I saw him out again and he grabbed me from behind. Once I realized it was him I backed away and he said he never noticed how fat my ass was. I ingored his comment and avoided him for the rest of the night.
should i tell my friend. i don’t want to get involved in any drama, but i don’t want her thinking I’m hiding something from her if she ever heard anything.
Hmmmmmm…… I think i would say smtg 2 him 1st. I would pull him 2 the side, tell him tht he is making u uncomfortable, tht u r not interested, & if it continues u will have 2 alert ur friend. If he is a smart guy, he will take heed & leave u alone. If he is spiteful & super shady (we already kno he is shady), he will go 2 ur friend & tell her u’ve been hitting on him. I think with u not saying anythg 2 him, he is taking ur silence as a “yes.” Just let him no u dnt play tht.
I want another baby. My hubby and I first child turns 6 in a month. We are financially stable and we have enough room at our house for another baby. He is not as sure as I am, but I know if I were to get pregnant he would be fine. I’m am on birth control…a friend suggested I skip a couple of days, but I just think that is so dishonest. When I think about women who like about their birth control or puposely skip days all I think is they trapped that man…is it still called trapping if it’s a person hubby though.
Honesty is the best policy. If u do smtg sneaky like this, it could backfire (strain on the marriage, or God forbid, a sick child). Talk 2 ur husband. Ur husband should be ur best friend, ur confidant. Tell him u want to add to ur family. And yes, wives can “trap” men. Several women have had “sympathy” children 2 save a marriage, but r-ship experts have said tht doesnt work. As far as the messy, sneaky co-worker, does she have a man? SMH!
I agree with Rapid Relief!
Is your marriage on the rocks or something? I’m asking because like Rapid said women have babies in hopes of saving their marriage. Maybe he has some other plans for the family and that’s why he doesn’t want a baby.
You guys need to talk. I think having a baby and him not really wanting it will end up in disaster!
I just watched an episode LifeClass on OWN and this woman wanted to have a baby so bad. All these situations came up, but she was hell bent on having that baby. She ended up having a baby and he’s autistic.
I believe in karma. You have a baby unannounced to him and either that baby will end your marriage or that baby might have a disability.
I was out this weekend and this guy approached me. I have had a ccrush on him for about a year or so. He is single, but the problem is he was in a 4 year relationship with my coworker. She use to have pictures of him all over her cubicle and he was her standing date for all office parties.
Ummmmm….this could be a very messy situation. U know how ppl “linger” even after a break-up. They sex each other until some1 better comes along. And, a 4yr r-ship……..im sure she still has feelings 4 him, esp if she doesnt have a new beau. I think she would make ur life a living hell & maybe even some of ur co-workers.She will prolly even suspect tht ya’ll were messing around when they were 2getha. And u gotta think abt this, would u be a rebound 4 him or wud u have a chance 4 a real r-ship. Once u leave a long term r-ship like tht, some ppl arent ready 2 settle down, they wana play. I wud maybe say No, b/c it sounds like 2 much trouble
hey Sunshine,
As long as you know this situation WILL get messy and you can take the backlash and drama this IS going to come with it, then do you!
I have been married for 5 years. I love my husband…but I’m growing very fond of this man I work with. He doesn’t know and it has been an innocent crush for the past 6 months, but I am afraid it might grow into something more. We both are apart of the public relations team at our company so we spend much of our time together working on projects and ideas. We also travel together when need be for the company. I just don’t know what to do. I cant quit my career because of these feelings, but I don’t want these feelings to ruin my life.
Dont do it girl! Thts how i lost my husband…..from cheating. The fact tht u are already emotionally attached to him means u have already stepped n2 dangerous territory. Some type of way (prayer, meditation, etc), u are gonna have to dial those feelings/attractions all the way down. If not, u will be Knocking Boots on 1 of those business trips & then ur world will be upside down. After i slipped up, my world was a complete mess for like 4yrs. It feels so good while u r n it, but once the shyt hits the fan, i was begging God 4 forgiveness. I had a horrible time & only now do i feel llike im getting back 2 some happiness. DontDoIt.com!
Oh wow RapidRelief! =(
SoonToBeAdulterer, first don’t use that name anymore. Don’t claim that title.
You need to seek some type help. Therapy, meditation, your pastor…something. Maybe you’re missing something (in yourself, your marriage, etc) and that’s why your seeking the affection of this man.
I say don’t do it!!! From what I’ve heard and saw on movies affairs NEVER end good.
I stay in ATL. I am sure you all know this is gay/downlow capital of the world. I love a good drag show so my gal pals and I went to one Sunday night. While I was there I saw my co-worker’s boyfriend. I thought maybe it was not him, but I sent somebody over there and it was him. Should I tell her?
@ TheWiz
OMG! I will wait until eveyone chimed in, because I am so high off of words right now; its not even funny. #thejoy ofcollege.
See there, I cant even complete a coherentt sentence. *glass of wine and off to bed* Lol
Was he in drag or just enjoying the show?
I wouldnt say a word. Again, she may know. Dwight (the 6th RHOA) is engaged 2 a woman……yes a woman! So ur co-worker may kno he is bi- or gay. Some women just want a “man,” & they dnt care abt anythg else. If she doesnt kno, it will eventually come 2 the light. Now, if this was ur family member, i would prolly tell
RapidRelief,
I did not know Dwight was marrying a woman! I guess some woman do need companionship at any cost. My co-worker’s boyfriend was not in drag. He was in the cut polo down with a fitted cap. He looked like he was trying to go unnoticed.
@ Rapid Relief
OMG, “Dwight”…I. cannot. lol…How are you, love?
Hey, Miss Satindoll!!!! I’ve been good. Just tryna dodge b.s. I need 2 update ya’ll abt Taken & Football Player. How is school? And is ur son off punishment yet?
@ Rapid Relief
Yes, please update. lol School? I will answer that when I finish this glass of wine.
I kid….It is so gosh darn stressful. I went through a period, where I did not want to see another written word. lol
My son is not off punishment yet; another 14 days to go; I am not playing with his @#$&. He have been extra nice, though. lol
My man and I double date with his best friend and his best friend’s girlfriend. Me and the other girlfriend hit it off well so we text and meet up sometimes to go shopping, problem is my man always tells me how her boyfriend is always cheating on her. I feel fake not telling her because I would tell my friends info like that, but I know my boyfriend is telling me in secrecy.
Me, personally, I wouldnt say a word. If u tlk, it will ruin the entire friendship for u & her, her bf & ur bf, & possibly cause tension in ur r-ship, esp if ur bf feels he cant trust u. Eventually the truth will come out. Heck, she might already kno or at least be suspicious. I say let their r-ship play out on its own
Natasha,
I agree with Rapid Relief. I feel like this whole situation is going to back fire on you. Your boyfriend is telling you in confidence. So you sell out and what happens if her boyfriend denies it. I’m betting you she’s going to believe him and start disliking you and then you’re boyfriend is going to be mad because you’re acting like “chatty cathy.” Just stay out of it.
I count my boyfriends condoms. I remember on Saturday there were4 left. I count them today there is two left. I confronted him and he talking about his neighbor needed some the other night. Him and his neighbor are cool, so it could be true…but i dont want to be gullible! I think I should ask the neighbor!
*Glass of wine, anyone?*
@ Akeela
First, do you guys have trust issues to begin with? The reason why I asked is because you stated that you count his condoms. Second, are you and his neighbor cool like that? I would assume that the neighbor would probably tell you that he did in fact get the condoms from your boyfriend. If they are friends, expect that he will cover for your boyfriend. If that is the case, where are you going from there?
Trust is a very important element in a relationship, and without that you are always going to be on pins and needles. Have a sit down with him and just express how you honestly feel.
I’ll take a glass Satin Doll! LOL
I know I’m late. Sorry Akeela…BUTTT If you can find a way to ask that just seems casual and not important then do it. If you’re going to ask and it’s going to sound like an interrogation then no ma’am.
You know what scratch that…if your boyfriend and the neighbor are homeboys, he’s probably going to lie and tell your boyfriend you asked.
@ Ebony
My sentiments exactly.
I have been dating my boyfriend for about a year. I put on weight in the last 2 months. I don’t even know how the pounds packed on, but they did. I feel that my boyfriend is pulling away from me. Should I ask him, “does he not find me attractive anymore?”
@ Melanie
Are you unhappy with the weight that you have gained? If yes, then I would suggest that you embark on a journey to get back to the size that makes you feel comfortable. After a certain age, the “pounds pack on” and it gets very hard to lose; lose the pounds more for yourself than anything else.
As far as your boyfriend pulling away, it may or may not have to do with your weight gain; but maybe somethings else that is going on with him. I think you should speak with him about how you are feeling and be totally honest about.
Sunshine,
Just ask him, but if you’re comfortable with the weight the hell with it.
Should I be upset that my boyfriend of 2 years went out of town without notifying me. I did find out he was out of town until 2 days later.
Not saying that you have control over him or his whereabouts, but I think you have a right to be upset. Not to scare you either but that doesn’t sound good
Hey Sunshine,
First, welcome and thanks for commenting.
I agree w/ LGreen! I find it very strange that the person you had been with for 2 years wouldn’t even mention they are going out of town. That means he made plans, finalized those plans, and packed w/o you knowing? I would just assume something like that would come up in conversation.
@ Sunshine
The red flag is undeniable, in my opinion. Did he tell you that he went out of town after two days, or did you find out on your own? It does not make a difference either way; it would really be more messed up if you actually found out without him telling himself. And, to answer your question; absolutely.
OMGeeeeee! I just had a very weird experience
I went to a park abt 7-10 mi. down the street from me. I never knew the park existed until abt 2yrs ago when 27 took me there & we ran laps & played basketball. Weeeeeelllllllllll, i decided 2 go 2 the park 2day to work out. I pull up & I IMMEDIATELY spot 27. He is on the bball court with BM #2 playing bball. I also saw his 5y/o son pushing the stroller of his 1yr old son. He saw me b/c i have a car tht is easily recognizable & only 1 other car is the same color as mine in the city. I call my sis 911 & start screaming, “Shyt, He’s in the park with his bm & his kids. Phuck it! I wana jog but Idk if i can get out.” She told me to get out, put on my headphones & ignore them. But, I decided NOT to get out of the car, b/c YES thts the bm who when i wrung his doorbell, she answered.
I truly have no feelings 4 him, but i have had a hard week (& its only Tues). So, the LAST THING i needed 2 see was him playing “happy fam” with bm #2. I actually do feel srry 4 her & am glad he is spending time with the Her & the baby (who has had at least 2 surgeries since birth). I just didnt need 2 see tht shyt today.
Ok, im done venting, NOW i will find an exercise tape 2 use since he ruined my evening jog. Uggghhhh!
Awww dang!
I wouldn’t have gotten out the car either!! I guess the right thing to feel is “happy” for them b/c they seemed happy and blah, blah, blah…but that would have broken my heart immediately. Especially because after reading your post I could tell you really loved/liked him. I know one thing though if I were you I would avoid that park at all cost…well, at least until you find a man that’s finer than 27 to go out there with. LOL
NatoyaEbony, no i didnt luv 27. He was a rebound after my separation. I wasnt devastated by seeing them, i just didnt want her 2 recognize me, or 4 him or her to think i was stalking them. I blame myself 4 allowing him 2 stay in my life for 3yrs. He wanted a r-ship with me & I always refused (my intuition). So, i ask myself 2day, “Y did i allow some1 full access 2 my life when i never wanted a r-ship with him?” This experience has actually given me insight into my own life. But, no reason 2 beat myself up now……. u live & learn.When i 1st started dating, i was dating 4 fun, now im dating with a purpose. If i woulda left him alone after Nov. 2010, after he didnt call me 4 my bday or get me a gift, I would kno ntg abt his life, bm #2, etc. He LIED abt his 2nd son until the baby was 4mos! He is no good or either extremely immature (prolly both). & i pray tht bm#2 either wakes up or goes to couples counselling with him, but i got a feeling she aint going nowhere. I even told Big Daddy abt it & he got mad b/c i didnt get out 2 exercise (go figure). He said i must still have feelings 4 him. I tried to explain to Big Daddy tht the fact i didnt get emotional, confront him/her, or try to get out & strut 2 show wht 27 was missing is proof i have no feelings 4 him.
P.S. Apparently tht park is 27s “courting” spot….. literally.
Ok, ya’ll kno i always have smtg going on.
Taken- I received a txt from him 2 Saturdays ago & i misread it. The actual txt said, “This would be a gr8 nite to be outside on ur patio while im giving u the business.” Well, I just read “This would be a gr8 nite on ur patio” & I responded “Why did u wait so late, tht woulda been gr8!” I was wondering why all of his txts were getting sexual. So, i eventually end the convo & tell him “Im not ready 4 tht.” He txtd back, “This is not only abt sex. I WANT YOU!” Anyway, i declined his sexual advances & ended the txtn.
It actually hurt my feelings, b/c im so much more than a piece of p*ssy. I was really thinking tht i could be friends with him but it becomes more & more apparent tht his intentions & my intentions are completely different. He has a whole girlfriend & he rarely calls/txts me. To me, if u “want” me, u would be showing more effort (daily ph calls to at least see how Im doing, daily txts, dinner). He has NEVER taken me to dinner, only drinks. I havent heard from him either, so………maybe he has given up. Its been 6mos & he hasnt gotten anywhere with me. I shoulda taken ya’lls advice earlier abt leaving him alone, but i never viewed him as a threat 2 my livelihood. I figured i could be a friend to him….. WRONG!
@RapidRelief
I misread text ALL the time. I think b/c your rushing to read them you skip imperative words.
Of course he want to Marvin Gaye you, that whole “we can be friends” was just a ploy to make you comfortable and the second you got too comfortable he was going to go for the kill.
I think it’s best you guys don’t talk anyway. You know he has a girl and too much of “friend” time could have potentially led to feelings or ya’ll sleeping together (we all know what can happen durring late night hangouts especially if a bottle is involved.
How is the “Big Daddy” doing?
Big Daddy is good. He is still out of town & should be home in abt 1wk. He has told me he isnt going anywhere & has already tlkd abt taking a trip to Memphis & Blackberry Mountain for Christmas. He is everythg tht i would want in a man, just he is in a different shell. Now, if he had the body of Football Player it would be on & popping! Let me stop, but im definitely going to keep him around
I am struggling with the long distance thing tho. It feels like im in a r-ship, but i still come home 2 an empty house/bed…….thts the part tht sux! Its hard 4 me to have to drive thru popular areas of town on Friday nites, see other couples on dates, & i have 2 go home & read a book. So, i have continued to hang out with my male friends. I always let Big Daddy know i go out & i call him when i get in, but i can sense tht it bothers him. He has told me tht he wants to be the last man i ever date, but wants to wait until he comes home to make it official. So, i see this as my play time. My friend thinks tht im not ready for an exclusive r-ship b/c i still have my male friends, but it gets lonely! I almost feel like im being tortured…..i have a gr8 guy, but he is 10hrs away & i have other guys luring me to them. I would really h8 to mess up a good thing tht has potential, but its spring time & i want to have fun too! Im sooooo confused on if i should accept an exclusive r-ship with him, esp if im not going 2 give up my “single” life. And, its not like singledom is so gr8, but when Big Daddy will be gone for 3-5wks at a time, Wht is a girl 2 do?
Hey fam,
What are your thoughts on the senseless killing of young Trayvon Martin? As I type, my hands are shaking because I cant fathom why this ignorant @#$% is not in jail by now. Yes, I have read the stories, especially the “self defense” claim; and, I am also aware of the law that was passed years back. With that being said, what are your thoughts?
I have nephews who are younger and close in age as Trayvon martin. My son is seventeen years old, and let me tell you, when I first heard the story I cried; I cried for Trayvon and his family, and I cried for my son as well.
@ Ebony
I hope its okay that I post this.
That’s fine. I did my Talk About It Tuesday post on this incident. I’m actually going to a rally in Sanford on Thursday that Jesse Jackson and Al Sharpton are speaking at regarding Trayvon.
I, too, am tryna figure out why he is not in jail. I believe the police have dropped the ball on this & i hope the FBI takes over successfully & press the charges. PLUS, the mayor, the DA, & the sheriff need to be voted OUT OF OFFICE!
Im also surprised he has not been harmed. I need some SWIFT justice asap. He needs to be locked up & i hope the other inmates get all in his a**. Im quite disgusted at this wana be “Hill Billy Cowboy” & think tht he should, at the very minimum, be tried for 2nd degree murder!!!!!
Creepy Church Guy- My cousin txtd me on yesterday, asking if she could give my ph # to a “play brother” of hers. I start asking a million questions cuz Im like “WTF?!” But, when she said it was her mtr’s idea, I gave in.
Well, dude txts me within 3hrs. Off top, i thought he sounded “angry”. He txts me tht he is legally married but separated & tht its a sensitive subject & tht if i dnt wana deal with him we can just stop now. It kinda pissed me off, cua im thinking “Y txt me in the 1st place with such a negative, angry attitude?” So I txt him “Do u, & u can hit me up every now & then.” So, he is like “Huh WEht tht mean?!” So i tell him tht it seems like he still has alot of pain towards his failed marriage & tht he needs 2 work thru it.” Anyway, 2 make a long story short, he cont to txt. He sends me a pic & Im like “OMGeeee” I know this him from where I work (a clinic). I instantly remember y he visited the clinic & it turned my stomach (to say the least). I tell him where I know him from & he’s like, “So whts up?” I tell him tht it is inappropriate for me to tlk to a patient. He starts begging, telling me tht im judging him, only GOD can judge him, tht we all have a past, & tht it wasnt fair. Im tryna tell the fool, in a nice way, I want ntg to do with him at this point & he keeps on. Finally I tell him, “Let me think abt it.”
I refuse 2 be bullied into a friendship with him & honestly Im kinda scared of him. Im not judging him, but i think he needs some help tht not only church can provide. God made doctors to help you along the way. I believe in God & miracles & healings. I try my best NOT to judge ppl & i really dnt think tht i am. But, I also dnt want 2 KNOW abt red flags & end up on a episode of 48 Hours Mystery. So, does every1 agree with my decision?
Run!
First off, dude seems kinda off alittle with the angry text. Yes, he does seem like he needs to be on someone’s couch talking about his problems. And, second, married but separated…yeah, right there…no go. Lastly, just nicely tell him that you cant be friends with him and tell him not to text you anymore. If he doesnt stop, put a restraining order out on his ass.
Round 2- At abt 3pm on yesterday, dude txt my phone asking wht time i got off? I ignored the txt. He then called, i didnt answer. He txt “U too busy 2 tlk?” I ignored tht txt 2. He called again, didnt answ. He then txtd “lol smh so this how u gone do?” I called my friend & she said not to answ call but 2 send him a txt letting him kno tht im not interested. So I txt “I have thought abt the situation & decided not to pursue anythg with u. Thank u 4 respecting my decision.” He called again & left a voicemail tht said smtg like “Hey, this is me. I see u not answ the ph. U r acting childish, immature, & unprofessional. Call me!” Im thinking, call u after u have insulted me??!!! Then he lashed out at me & txt me tht as a grown woman, i couldnt say any of this over the phone & was hiding behind a txt msg. AND, tht he did some digging of his own & found out some stuff abt me & tht i am a Hot Mess & a half! WTFFFFFF????!!!!!
I alerted my sis & my mom of the situation. My mom was pissed at my cousin for tryna hook me up with some1 unstable. My sis told me no to respond to ANY of the txts or v.m. The sad part is he knows where i work. My friend is already saying i might need a restraining order. This is INSANE! I only txt this fool for a few hrs & he is already attaching himself to me. Can u imagine if we had hung out or had sex??!!!!! Im a lil worried b/c he told me he is off every Mon, Tues, & Wed. I hope he is not at home obsessing over the situation. Every1 thinks he wanted to tlk to me to manipulate me into accepting the friendship. Anyway, i hope this will be the last of this fiasco. I have given his full name to fam & friends.
WTH!!! *pouring a glass of wine, one sec*…..okay, now…Do you have any brothers or male in your family because this is getting out of control. Have them have a talk with his ass. I hate when they act like they have no darn sense what-so-ever.
” He called again & left a voice mail that said smtg like “Hey, this is me. I see u not answ the ph. U r acting childish, immature, & unprofessional. Call me!” I’m thinking, call u after u have insulted me??!!! Then he lashed out at me & txt me tht as a grown woman, i couldn’t say any of this over the phone & was hiding behind a txt msg. AND, tht he did some digging of his own & found out some stuff abt me & tht i am a Hot Mess & a half! WTFFFFFF????!!!!! <- Sweetie, this right here is a bit much after just a few hours of texting. You did the right thing about texting and telling him basically that you are not interested; keep all the text messages that he sent you and voice mail and go to the police.
And, what the hell is he talking about he did some digging of his own? I am of the opinion that when someone ignores your calls and text, that mean "he/she is just not that into you."
Disclaimer: if I come off a bit angrier than usual; my son is working my last nerves at the moment. I am so going to ground his ass for two months. I do not like getting called to the principal’s office as if I am still in high school. so, please forgive me.
Lmbo! U didnt sound angry. Thx 4 the concern. I havent heard from him in over 24hrs, so hopefully, this is over. I did save the txts & the v.m. in case I need it for future use
Principal’s ofc?! Yeah…..i dnt like to be embarrassed either. But, dnt be 2 hard on him…..kids are going thru alot these days 2 (bullying, peer pressure, etc.).
@ Rapid Relief
I hope you don’t hear from him ever again.
If it was any of those things you mentioned, a different course of action would have been mandatory. He just plain lied as if i wasn’t in school at one point and knows what goes on, but if he was honest I would have just took his phone for a couple of weeks.
@RapidRelief
Sorry my response is super late, BUT he really is emotionally unstable!! And clearly your cousin is bad judge of character. He needs to deal with his issues b4 he attempts to date anyone. You definitely should avoid his messages and calls at all cost and hopefully this situation will fizzle itself out!
What’s the updates on Big Daddy, Taken, Football Player, and Facebook Jerk?
@SatinDoll
Principal phone calls are never a good look. What did he do, if you don’t mind me asking?
@ Ebony
No, I do not mind you asking. He skipped three classes, and then have the nerve to tell me he was in the media center catching up on his other class work, which was a lie. I mean, First; why do you need to catch up on other class work when clearly I dropped your @#$% off to school everyday…And, second, why do you need to cut class for that…*sigh* I checked Edline religiously before, but (no excuse) I was super busy and had travel to a seminar in Phoenix, and forgot to check it. Low and behold, that was the day he skipped those classes. Well, he got caught. I didn’t check my messages in time (when I got back), because you know you get that call when they miss any class for that day. He got ISS ( in school suspension). The day he was supposed to be in ISS, he played sick and called for me to pick him up and I went to get him. When I got there, the Principal asked to see me in the office, and that’s when I found out. Funny thing was, he wasn’t banking on the principal being in her office that day.
I grounded him for two months. his @#$% got to ride the bus to school for two month; that means waking up extra early to catch it; took his phone, and his bedtime is @ 8:30pm. He is a junior in high school. He thinks I am being harsh. Yeah, okay.
Wow Satindoll,
You got me shook! I thought I was giving real punishments but I see I’m behind the curve ball! Lol…I love it! My sons are 6 and 2 so when they grow I’m gonna be just like you! Lol…..my 6 year old has been doing some really sneaky things lately…..I’ve been dishing out punishments every time I turn around….I love your kind though! Lol
@ Loverbynature
I was not even going to play with his @#$%. He knows better, and the fact that we have a little over a year left before he is off to college; now is not the time to start with all that nonsense.
**Updates**
Big Daddy- Im not letting him go! We tlk everyday, he txts me throughout the day things like “u r amazing,” “miss u”, etc. He works 3wks on, 1 wk off, so the good thing is tht we cant rush anythg. Im actually excited he is in my life. He has asked me if I have ever thought abt moving (he is thinking abt relocating 4 his job), AND he has told me he wants me to have his son. Now, tht kinda freaks me out just b/c ive only known him for abt 6wks. But, he said if i were to get preggo, he wouldnt mind at all. (I will be starting birth control soon b/c i dnt trust him abt this baby thing, i DO believe he would try 2 trap me). I told him, “Of course u wouldnt mind, b/c i would be a guaranteed fixture in ur life for at least the next 20yrs!” He also talks abt marriage. I know alot of ppl prolly think this is way to fast, but my intuition says he is genuine. He is 10yrs older than me & he just knows wht he wants. No sex yet (cuz he is on location).
It is sooooooo nice 2 have some1 in ur life who appreciates u & chases u. We get along so well, no silly fights over who is gona call who. I just remember me & 27 & my Rapper friend constantly fighting over who should call who 1st, y i didnt answer the phone, etc…..just stupid b.s. I guess thts the difference b/t boys & friends. BUT, my concern is his health. He is a big guy (6′ 4″, prolly around 300lbs). One nite, he called my house phone (I was on my cell) & i just heard alot of deep breathing. And when we are tlkn, if he starts to move around, it sounds like he is panting 4 breath. We’ve tlkd abt sex & he asked if i like to “ride”. Im not the best at it & i sure dnt want 2 have to be riding all the time. Yes, i have ran 2 5k races, but ummmmmm………riding some1 for more than 10minutes aint my cup of tea!
Facebook Jerk- I have NOT heard from him & guess wht IDGAF! Im just glad i got out of tht party (& bathrm) with my dignity
Taken- He has started showing effort & txts me a lil’ bit more frequently & has started calling me “baby.” We are still just friendly. Havent seen him since the last time i posted
Football Player- He left 2 play arena football (9hrs away). I have tlkd to him once. I told him tht i would visit him if he invited me & i will. I just think abt his smile & his body…….OMGeeeeeeeeee! Again, i know he is ntg but eye candy. He is like 29 still tryna play football after multiple injuries & shoulder surgery. He has 2bm’s (2 kids). He is only good for fun & fun only.
Creepy Guy- Havent heard from him. Thank the LORD!
That’s good about “Big Daddy”. He does need to lose weight though. Just for his benefit. I would hate for him to be the one and ya’ll relationship is cut short due to complications of his weight.
And yes, he’s 300lbs…you have two options ride him like a cowboy or he hits it from the back. I would hate to spend a whole Marvin Gaye and Chardonnay session on top. The thought of it would actually deter me from having sex.
I’m happy that you escaped that situation with “Facebook Jerk” too!
Stay away from “Taken”…he’s taken
And “Football Player” just have fun with him.
“Creepy Guy”…good riddance!
P.S. My story shows that we, as HUMANS, can control our sexual urges. I had paynis thrown at me several times within 1 wk but made a CONSCIENCE effort to NOT start sexual r-ships with ppl I do not know or feel comfortable with. So, as far as NatoyaEbony’s male friend tht cant turn down vagina & blames women for his “player” behavior, he needs to change his story to “I have no self-control” & stop blaming the women!
In no way, shape, or form am i tryna brag, but my dating life has went from 0 to 100 overnight, & im kinda excited abt it. I really havent even told any of my friends b/c I dnt want them to think I am bragging or tht I am a whore. Also, my uncle currently lives with me, so im feeling a sort of way abt him seeing me going out with different guys. Hopefully, he aint spreading my business throughout the fam b/c I will whoop his azz & kick him out. So, here goes:
1- “Big Daddy” I met a really nice & great guy while being a Ms.Piggy (I only went to the store 2 buy some cheesecake!). We started tlkn in the line. The cashier actually got mad & started giving me dirty looks, but he followed me to my car & we exchanged ph #s. We have been tlkn ever since. It is sooooo nice to get home & receive a call from a guy making sure u made it home safely. I talk to him every night rite b4 i go to bed. He txts me throughout the day & lets me know where he is or tht he is just thinking abt me. ; ). My only concern is tht he is a big guy. I normally go 4 skinny guys or fit guys. I have always said i dnt want a guy tht has the same things I have (titties, stretchmarks, etc) b/c I have enuf 4 the both of us. Well, he came over & brought me lunch. We were sitting on the couch & he wanted me to “touch” him….u know wht i mean. So, i touched his paynis & ummmmm……it was short & fat. WTFFFF?!! He is 6′ 4″ & thts all he is working with? My friend said she wasnt shocked or surprised at all b/c most big guys normally aint working with ntg. Well, im used to getting “d*cked down” & …..*sigh*
Fast forward past the shock, he did a really sweet & enduring thing……I came home from a house party, so he was like “Just let me come over & sleep next to u.” I said “Ok.” I got up & put on pj’s, b/c i did not want sex. He came over, got in the bed & we both went to sleep. NO sex! I mean, how many guys will do tht without d@mn near raping u?!! He is a super great guy, & Im not going to let him get away b/c he may be able to work it. LOL!
2- Football Player I met a FINE guy. I have worked out with him, & had him over to watch tv. Well, he wanted to see me last weekend, so i said “Sure.” We watched the “Sixth Man” & grabbed some food. After eating he literally picked me up & took me to my room. I prayed to God to block me from having sex b/c even tho he is fine, I know he is phucking alot of different chicks (his ph constantly rings). So, im telling him I’m nervous & am not comfortable having sex while my uncle is upstairs. He PULLS his paynis out!. It was HUGE & long. And his body…..he is shaped like a Ken barbie doll. OMGeeeeee!!!! I turned it down cuz he is leaving in 1wk to go play arena football. Why start smtg tht i cant finish?! Cuz, im sure i would want 2nds & 3rds, LOL
3- Facebook Jerk- I met this guy back in the fall. I thought he was cute. We hung out once & txt every now & again. Well, we are friends on FB & i would read some of his posts & they were so rude. He brags abt kicking women out after sexing them, he brags abt being at the strip club, he bragged abt chicks sending him UGLY vagina pics. I mean…..it really turned me off from him & made me look at him differently. Well, he ended up disappearing & i hadnt heard from him since Oct. Well, he started back txtn me approx 2wks ago. I got kinda nervous b/c #1- i hadnt tlkd to him in months, #2- he is kinda popular around the city. He wanted me to txt him a pic of my “lips” & I told him “Srry i dnt sext.” Most of our txts are general convo’s, but once we did tlk abt oral sex & how i could “ride his face.” Well, he invited me to a party. I kinda figured he wanted to get me ova to try smtg so I even invited my friend. She said no (I think she said no b/c FB Jerk is friends with her ex “cuddy buddy”. Her & the cuddy buddy fell out when he phucked another girl while she was outside with his friends at a bar-b-que; I also think i pissed her off once she realized i was still friends with his friend). So, I go 2 the party alone. Its like 6 girls & 10guys. We start drinking & having debates. I go to the bathroom to pee (cuz i was drinking Vodka), when i open the door, he comes in & is like “let me eat u now.” Again, i start to pray, “Lord, get me out of this.” Another dude starts knocking on the door asking to come in to watch. I almost fainted. I do NOT get down like tht. So, i convince him 2 go to my house a lil later on. I get out of the bathroom alive & with my dignity. I lied & said my boyfriend was at my house waiting on me & made it seem like i was scared to go home but tht I had to. Told him i would come to him the next day, but honey, when Monday rolled around, i got ghost. For some reason, i aint feeling him like tht to be sexing him with no commitment. And, im afraid he will post derogatory comments abt the experience or even me on FB.
4- Taken- This is abt the guy who has the gf who posts abt how great he is. He came over on Fri nite. We ended up tlkn abt our friendship. He said tht I was selfish & tht he needs a woman who will reciprocate his actions. He said he needs an aggressive woman who will take him to dinner & a movie. (WTFFFFF?!) Now, granted he has taken me out for drinks, but NEVER dinner. So, y would i do smtg for him tht he has never done for me?! I told him tht im not used to having to “work” for a guy AND tht i was being respectful to the gf by stepping back & letting their r-ship play out. He said tht if I stepped up, things could change between us. Im thinking “Bullsh*t! If u dogging her & she is reciprocating ur “luv” then he will screw me 2 in a r-ship.” He was like “U never call. U never txt.” And he mentioned tht eventually he will get tired of our lop-sided friendship. So, pretty much he told me (in a nice way) to Straighten Up or Get Lost. I think i will keep him around as a friend, but i runs up behind NO Ninja! LMBAO
So glad i was able to get this off my chest! Dnt judge me……Im hoping 2 settle down soon. I want babies!!!!!
I’m excited for you!!!
“Big Daddy” actually sounds like a really good guy. Granted he physically might not be able to put it down like you need it (you might be able to teach him), but out of all of them he sounds the most like a long term potential. It always mind boggles me when a guy is thick/tall and his counterparts aren’t. That’s just a cruel joke. He reminds me of the guy “Michael” in Waiting to Exhale that Lela Rochon’s character “Robin” was dating.
“Football Player” Not too much to say about him. He doesn’t sound uber amazing and he doesn’t sound bad either. He really just sounds like good “eye candy”. So have fun with him!
“Facebook Jerk” Run now!! Even though that bathroom situation did sound fun and spontaneous I have a problem with him doing an act like that so randomly. It almost makes me think he does it often especially if ya’ll text messages are about you riding his face. He kind of reminds me of Mr.Pussy from Sex and the City. (Did you ever see that episode) Like his oral game is his M.O. and that ‘s how women fall in love with him. If you do it…don’t get attached.
As far as “Taken” leave him alone. That friendship is going to eventually wear you out and you will give in and that is what he wants you to do.
Outside of that have fun because you know how the dating/single life goes. Some days your roster is full and some days it’s empty. LOL
@ Rapid Relief
Besides Ebony post on her dating life, which I live for….I also cannot wait to hear yours and Tameka’s stories? Oh, Lawd (thats the Jamaica coming out of me) LOL.
And, honey, I wont judge…
I co-sign what Ebony said about “Big Daddy.” I also think you should give it a chance, you will never know what will happen. And, as far as I can read, he seems pretty cool. Whatever you choose, we love you none-the-less.
“Footbal Player” umm, if you can handle it, go for it….if not, dont start anything that you feel that will cause you emotional stress.
“Facebook Jerk”….No comment…wait…I. Cannot. Not….End. Of. Story.
“Taken” again, I agree with Ebony…Run! Enough. Said.
Ummm…. I want yall to know that I got busted. The funny thing is I knew when I did it that I would get caught but I did it anyway. Ok here goes… He was acting wierd on V-Day. Left me early that night to go take care of some business. I was able to put my recorder under his seat before he left. Smdh…. He is one smooth operator. He had 2 dates that night and still managed to come through on what I asked him to do for me. Well the other day he was acting wierd again so I put the recorder under the seat of his car. Unlike the other times I felt funny about doing it this time. I even removed it but then thought I was trippin and put it back under his car seat. Wells… A few hours after he left the house I get a texted saying “I know what you did”. I texted back “I don’t know what you’re talking about please be more specific”. Long story short… He dropped a c.d. between his seat. In his attempt to get it h found the recorder. He wasn’t as upset as I thought he would be but now he lock his car doors and keep his keys on him at ALL times. Lol… I told him that if he wasn’t out there doing dirt I wouldn’t have to be so creative. Right now he thinks that was my first time doing it but if he figures out how to work the recorder he will hear those other conversations from the past 2 times. I got to get my handson that recorder and erase everything. I know yall are saying… This is to damn much! I agree. But when I mentoned in another post that “this is a man’s world”…. I truly believe it. I can be this independent woman who preaches I don’t need a man. But the truth is I am an independent woman who wants a man. I’ve been told to take the good with the bad. He’s there for me. Pays most of my bills. He doesn’t cheat in my face. No females are trying to step to me. Yall get where I’m going. Idk… We will see what happens.
*weird* Just want yall to know that I can spell. LOL…
Chi…….. 2 dates on V-Day?! Yeah, he got his game on LOCK!
Well, we are here 2 support u with whtever decisions u decide 2 make. Keep us updated
I thought my life was a mess…girl you got me beat.
@ Tameka
Wow….Like Rapid Relief said, we are here for you, sweetie. I have a question, though; what is your long term goal as far as he is concerned?
I don’t like your blog.
Well, thank goodness you’re not forced to read it.
Have a good day. =)
I can not believe some1 took the time to read/review ur blog & then write a rude comment! Y even comment?!
LOL @ u, NatoyaEbony b/c u reviewed the comment & still posted it. Oh well, maybe Hot Chocolate will start a blog that caters 2 her own taste.
@Rapid
I dont mind ppl’s opinion. As long as its pertains to the blog Ill post it. I was just confused why Hot Chocolate responded like he/she HAD to.
Wow some people really have no life!
An idle mind is the devil’s playground aka….yeah that person had too much time on their hands
@ Ebony
i agree.
Since you took the time to read this blog and formulate such an intelligent response*insert sarcasm* its only fair that I take the time that I allot per day to entertain ignorance; so here goes….First, we do not feed the trolls; it that case you! Second, please don’t come for us (my e-family) unless we send for you, so politely have a seat! Third, while you are entitled to your opinion *cough* I believe that you have some internal issues going on and you are just having a bad day…my advice; “let go and let God.”
Thanks for stopping by. Have a great day, Hot Chocolate!
LMBAO! I wanted 2 do it, but felt tht since my personality is too strong, i would look like a big ole’ bully. Gr8 comeback
LMAO… Got em… Hot Chocolate go get a hobby. We love your blog NatoyaEbony.
@ Tameka
Lol. …We sure do!
@ Rapid Relief
I heard you! Lol…I did not care what I came off looking like….My problem with folks are; you have an option…you can come off looking negative (if you have nothing nice to say; don’t say nothing at all…don’t comment…or else; you come for Ebony, we are coming for you.), or positive (compliment; give your opinion; “positive”, regarding the subject matter, or keep it moving), when you are be condescending or malicious; not tolerated. Sorry! If anyone reads this blog, they can see that it is VERY positive(COMMENTS AND BLOGGING) and friendly oriented; so why come off as being a negative Nancy.
I am glad you didn’t, because I know for sure somebody’s feelings would have been hurt. lol.
I slept with my b/f’s cousin.
Not recently, but a year ago. We were like…for a lack of better terms fuck buddies.
Now I’m dating this man and I think he’s wonderful, but it wasn’t until we went to his family cookout that I realized my boyfriend’s FIRST cousin was my fuck buddy a year ago.
Should I tell?
OOO girl this is deep and sticky because Im assuming you didnt know they were related when you and the cousin were doing the deed, so its not your fault.
But I think you should tell because guys talk and your boo will eventually find out. And if he finds out from his cousin or someone else, he will be mad at you for not being honest from the start.
Ummmm…. This is a sticky one. I don’t know what to tell you. Men are some funny creatures. You may think telling him is the noble thing to do but in the end you could be burned. I would take it to my grave if it was me. Some people, especially men, can’t handle the truth.
I made a mistake last night.
I was at a club with my girlfriends when I spotted the tramp my boyfriend is messing with. I had a 1 okay like 3 Long Islands and a shot or 2 so needless to say all she had to do was breath and I was going to be on her behind.
I went to the restroom so i asked her did she know my man. She gave me a dumbfounded look so I hit her. Next thing I know we going at while the bouncers are grabbing us to kick us out.
So after all that I still don’t know the details about the situation of her and my boyfriend.
@Lilanna
And you will never know all the details. I think the quote is “You can catch more flies with honey than with vinegar”. What if she didn’t know about you? What if your “man” was her “man” too? He could have been very well playing both of you guys and instead of you confronting him you slap her?
That was just wrong. Trust me I was in my share of WWF matches while I was in undergrad and the scary part was always you never know who knows who. I got in a fight with one girl two days later she had cheerleading team worth of girls looking for me.
You never know.
@ Ebony
Omg…between my post and these other confessionals; I have a serious migraine. I swear, Ebony, I am on track to being on someone’s couch. I promise. Lol
LOL.
@ Lilanna Wow! That is crazy. If I were in that situation, I would say something to the guy I am dating because I think that would alleviate a lot of things.
I found this site while searching random topic and I do have to admit I’m in love with it. I stayed up all night reading everything posted.
I know I’m late, but NatoyaEbony I was rooting for you and you Boy#2. I thought you guys were going to get together after the post “The Decision”.
I have something I want to post and don’t shread me to pieces with your responses. LOL
I have a main guy I’m dating. I feel as though he is my b/f but we hadn’t had the talk or made anything official. I’ve met his family and I spent NYE with him and his family at their beach house.
It sounds good right? Well not so much. He steady is checking for other women. Everytime I turn around it’s somebody new. Just last night while I was at his apartment waiting for him to get home from going out, a co-worker texted me and said he was all up in some woman’s face the entire night.
I haven’t officially busted him because he always flips it and makes me seem like I am a crazy person. So about a month ago I was sick and tired of being sick and tired of his bull ish and decided two can play that game. I started a fling with my ex. It lasted maybe 2 months. I ended because it didn’t make me feel better it actually did the opposite and made me feel worse.
I went to the doctor’s for my yearly check and I had an STD. Yes, it was curable. A couple of anti-biotics and I was back to normal, but now I’m faced with an issue. I know I stepped out so it could have been me who contracted it from my ex, but it could have been from the main guy I’m dating…I’m just confused.
@ Hershey Kisses
Oh, sweetie, I really need a martini before I comment. Its a bit early, so sometime after 5:00pm…I know its 5:00pm somewhere, but; yeah I will wait to get that sip. Dont feel bad, though we all have our issues.
@ Hershey Kisses
First, why are you having unprotected sex with your ex, or with anyone without knowing their status? And, even when you do know, still wrap it up. I am not naive, I know if you are in a relationship for years and you knowing your partner status and yours, I know eventually the condom’s come off. Your health should be more important. Second, why not end it with “the main guy” because obviously you cannot trust him. Why put yourself in that situation only to be miserable. Lastly, “the talk” is very vital because it put things into perspective for both of you guys. Have a sit down and have “the talk” and see where it leads. If you are not satisfied with the out come; meaning, you want more and he don’t, let it be. If you guys agreed to be friends with benefits and you can handle that, then….you know what’s right for you.
Do you work with “the main guy”?
#1- You need to notify both sex partners so that EVERYONE can be treated! It will more than likely be hard 2 figure out who u contracted the STD from, b/c both will prolly deny it & most men rarely have symptoms. Just make sure BOTH r treated just in case u go back 2 one…..or both
Ur bf/boo-thang just sounds he is lustful & out on the prowl. He is tryna satisfy his appetite & i dnt know when he will get full. It will be ur decision if u will be tht “Ride or Die” chick tht will let him do him while u w8 in the wings, waiting on a commitment or marriage. U must also realize this is the type of man who will prolly forever have a mistress & u need 2 figure out if u r ok with tht…..some women r just fine with it.
I will assume he has money (beach house), so tht alone can be very alluring 2 u & any woman. He has the money 2 ease the heartache, the disappointment, etc. I would tell u 2 let it play out, but i think u r in luv with him & u would really just be digging urself a bigger hole, making it harder to leave the friendship/r-ship. Also, he comes off to be very manipulative (he does the dirt but makes u feel bad). I would say smtg 2 him abt it, b/c it makes u look foolish when ur friends/fam/co-workers see him in the act of cheating/flirting.
Im not really tht concerned abt the STD b/c u didnt have a committed r-ship with either male, so when u r hooking up, unprotected, u r putting urself at risk. Just be thankful it was CURABLE!
@Hershey Kisses
I don’t know…this is all types of messy.
I told a friend of mine and her silly self said you should tell your ex boyfriend first so he can get checked out and then go to your boyfriend and act like he gave it to you. I laughed because it would be your luck that he doesn’t have it so you would blast yourself out.
In all seriousness tell both partners. It’s curable, count your blessings and move on.
You also need to figure out if you want to continue a rship w/ your current dude…I would think it sucks…I actually know it sucks to be in rship that you’re being committed and faithful in and the other person is doing the same.
This is a question for Ebony(I feel like I know you to address you as “Ebony”, forgive me) and my e-friends from Natoyaebony.com (insert smiley face)…oh, and a special friend(in my head) Rapid Relief because you keep it 100.
If someone(boyfriend/husband/friends with benefit) video tape you without your knowledge in any way shape or form, would you; address it, pitch a @$*@$, or let it be and move on, talk about it with your family and adhere to their dysfunctional reasoning (oh, come on, you know your family will lead you a stray without them even knowing that their logics deserve a *side eye*) or just blog that mother and Let the “chips” fall where they may?
ummm is this video of us Marvin Gaye’ing?
@ Ebony,
No, it wasnt us “Marvin Gaye’ing” but videos(several to be exact) of me undressing and going into the shower and coming out of the shower, etc. Oh, and vidoes of other random people (I think) while he is out and about. They are females as well.
I would blow tht bish UP!!!!!
Too many ppl’s lives have been ruined by “homemade sex tapes.” From reading ur entries, u are in graduate school, so u dnt need anythg tht can tarnish ur image. I mean, just go & watch some of the vids on WSHH.com, it makes sex seem loveless. Those chicks be phucking & sucking in the hood, looking a hot azz mess & their “lovers” record it & post it on WSHH. Kim K may have profited from her lil sex tape, but she will 4ever b a whore in many ppl’s eyes.
I have just heard too many horror stories abt sex tapes. Ex husbands mailing the sex tape to the son’s football team or a husband finding his wife’s sextape on-line & not knowing if he should tell her (they had kids by this time). And even my bff made a sex tape with her boyfriend (yeah, she was cheating) & her husband found it, showed it t2 his lawyer & the judge. Needless 2 say, he won joint custody of the kids & has to pay NO child support, he is 2 give my friend half on any needs 4 the kids. She fights with him to this day tryna get him 2 pay.
Examples:
http://speekdatroof.blogspot.com/2011/10/this-is-why-you-dont-hack-dudes.html
http://speekdatroof.blogspot.com/2011/10/embarrassing-this-man-aint-got-no-shame.html
http://speekdatroof.blogspot.com/2011/10/spoken-reasonsif-that-was-my-daughter.html
Get the tape & destroy it. And, no tht u cant trust tht niqqa! Phuck “letting the chips fall”…..u dont wana be haunted abt this in the future. Or, better yet, think abt ur professor’s watching the tape. U need 2 take control of this situation for YOUR better interests. Never let any1 else hold the key 2 ur future!!!!
P.S. I was actually downloading Iggy Azalea’s mixtape & made a quik stop by NatoyaEbony.com. I, too, feel like ya’ll r friends in my head. But, my bluntness sometimes gets me in trouble x _ x. Hope this helps
@ Rapid Relief
It wasnt a sex tape *knock on wood* but vidoes of me undressing and going into the shower and coming out. I got the flash drive (it was a camera pen) and I viewed everything on there, but I am a tid bit perplexed because I snooped (yeah, I know) and found the item book marked on his “favorite things.” It was marked “Spy cam” and I was wondering why he needs this. I wanted to ask him when I found it, but decided not to for the simple reason that I didnt have an explanation as to why I was in his computer like that. At this point he still doesnt know that I know.
A few days later, I saw the pen in the bathroom and did a double take….Okay, the pen in the bathroom is not weird for us because that is what he does all day; lift a damn pen. So, he have them laying around all over the house, where and whenever he takes them out of his shirt pocket. This one in particular was the one I saw in his “favorite things” and I immediately picked it up and open it (just like the picture on his computer) there was a flash drive in it. I ran to the computer and opened it to find the videos of me and random chicks (I think) on it. Needless to say; I got the hell out of there.
” My bluntness sometimes gets me in trouble.”
And, I bet that, that is one thing some people value most about you. I always tell people and my family knows this about me; that I am an aquired taste. You either love me or dont care for me at all, and I am fine with that. My disclaimer to them; dont ask question(s) that you really dont want to know the answer to.
This man is SICK! It is voyeurism & u need to turn his azz in to the police. He not only recorded YOU without ur knowledge, but also random chicks???!!!!!! I wouldnt even b worried abt him breaking up with me via txt, I would b tryna figure out how i would get tht footage. Is ur face visible on the tapes?
I know it is a sticky situation & even i would think twice abt it, BUT by alerting the police u are protecting urself, past victimized women, & future victims. This man sounds like a rapist or pedophile in the making. Forget the broken heart, think abt how he has violated u & numerous other women. This is a misdemeanor charge, possible felony if any of the women were underage. Try 2 get the footage & GO TO THE POLICE!
I most def agree with Rapid Relief!! u need to report him to the police! Hes crazy! and the fact that hes doin the same thing to random other random females further proves it.
Report him. He’s a sick freak!!
@ Ebony
I am going to report him. Thanks for your advise. I will update soon.
@ Yaris
I am going to report him. And, thank you for input. I will update soon.
*your* typo..
@ Rapid Relief
Yes, my face is on them all. I still have the camera pen, but worried that he might have store other footage somewhere on a disc. I was literally going crazy searching the house to see if I would come across anything, but no, nothing. I am going to the police to report him. I just hope that I dont end up on anyone of those sites that you mentioned previously. Thank you so much for keeping it 100. I didnt expect anything less.
I agree with Rapid Relief!!!
You don’t know where you will be at in 10 years, 5 years, HELL next year. You don’t want a tape like that coming back to hunt you. PERIOD.
And what type of douchebag records that w/o you knowing. That dude is really sick in the head. You need to try and get the tape ASAP b/c you don’t want him to get the opportunity to dub it.
Also, ppl do upload those tapes online to see how many views and comments they can get for it. http://www.Xvideos.com has hundreds of homemade videos and I’m pretty sure they don’t get consent from all the occupants in the tape.
I do think you should go to him nonchalantly like you want to watch the tape. I think if you go over there being loud and confrontational he might not give you the tape in spite of you. I would just go over and say can we watch the tape and the second it pulls it out, you grab and diminish it.
After you diminish the tape I suggest you got effen bazerk on him.
Oh and calling me Ebony is fine. Ebony is actually my first name. Natoya is my middle name. =)
oh and RapidRelief
Who is Iggy Azalea?
Iggy Azalea is this White Australian female rapper who goes hard on the mic.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=A2GCga7YLCU
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fqkKdCs5Nz4
I’m definitely going to check it out!
Thanks.
@ Ebony,
“And what type of douchebag records that w/o you knowing.” I was thinking the same exact thing. I was so sick to my stomach that I didnt eat all day, wondering how long this has been going on and does he have other videos of me on disc. Before I lefted his house, I was checking everything around the house; yes I snooped big time then. I check a/c vents and all. I did delete the history on his computer, so he wouldnt know that I found it.
I dont know what to do because I was snooping. I am not that girl (yes, I am). No, really…I am not. In my defense, I think I am reading too much of Tameka’s entry. *blame game* I am kidding Tameka.
Come to think of it, maybe that is why he broke up with me because he probably thinks that I know. He gave me that lame a%& excuse as to why he wanted to give us a break. *oh, damn*
@Satindoll, LOL at you reading too much of my entrys… Girl, this is some crazy B.S. Ewwwww… He is a nasty SOB. He’s stealing females most private moments. What a lunatic! Off with his head! That’s just nasty! I’m glad you snooped that out. This story will forever stick with me. I will be cautious when I use anyone bathroom from now on.
Dead @ “Off with his head”
SatinDoll,
How do you know there is a tape if the camera was hidden?
Love the site NatoyaEbony. I always visit. I, too feel like I know you personally. LOL
@ Pebbles
It was hidden in plain sight. (an oxymoron, I know)
Read my response to “Rapid Relief.”
Well, my boyfriend and I have been dating for a few months now, but is actually our 3rd time being together. This time around our relationship is great and much much better than the first two times….now the only problem is his family.
I dont like his family (immediate and extended) because they arent too friendly and they know how past history so they dont necessarily welcome me with open arms.
And when I do go around them to try to interact with them, I feel weird and they seem a little stand off-ish (esp his mom). And they act like he can’t have a life of his own (he lives with his parents until he goes to the military, and we are both 22 yrs old). I know he has to help around the house and babysit his younger sibling and baby niece, but its to the point where our time is cut short.
Basically, Im growing weary of them demanding so much of his time that i dont get quality time and that he doesnt have other needs to attend to. I have expressed to him about my feelings. But he says im being bossy and that things will change once he gets out on his own.
I do tell him, that he should tell his family that wants to spend time with me so that they can know that he has other plans besides cleaning the house from 1pm to 6pm on a Saturday—he says Im being bossy.
So should I continue to tell him what to tell them (because if I dont tell him, he probably wont speak up) or stop saying so much about it and just deal with it these family pains?
@LGreen, I would encourage you to choose your battles wisely. It seems that your bf has close ties with his family and trust me when I say his family will be there long after you are gone. Basically I’m saying they are not going anywhere. You say he lives with his parents so I’m sure he’s expected to do certain things like clean up and babysit. You really don’t have the grounds, for that fact, neither does he, to tell his parents that he do not want to do his ‘chores’ because he want to spend more time with you. Face it! He lives in his parents house which means he has to live by their rules.
I would say you need to relax. Right now neither one of you are in the position to make any demands as far as what his family expects of him. Wait until he has moved out and see what happens.
@LGreen
I agree with Tameka 100%. He lives with his parents and since he’s under his parents’ roof he must abide by his parents’ rules.
And honestly if he tells his family your thoughts it could possibly rub them the wrong way and if that occurs that means they would probably let him know they don’t want you in, near, or by their home. It just seems like too much trouble to ruffle his families’ feathers.
Hopefully he’ll get his own place soon.
Thanks for putting things into perspective, ladies.
So I get a text at 1 a.m. from my man saying… “So you want me to come back over then you need to do this… Put on some pink panties, red heels and fix your hair.” Okay…. this is the problem, me and my man don’t really talk like that. Not saying we don’t get down I’m saying we are like pass that. So when I got the text I immediately thought he sent it to me by mistake. You see he has cheated on me a time or two or three, LOL…. Anyway, I went off on him in text messages. I first told him that he sent me a text intended for someone else. The next text said, I hope you plan on being with her for good because I’m done with you. Then I sent another text saying I didn’t ask for this b.s. and that I was in bed minding my own business and he brought me drama. LOL, I think I sent 5 more text before I blocked his number. Mind you the last time I spoke with him he was out at a club but I know he was getting my text as he is never far away from his phone, I ended up unblocking my phone because I wanted to see what he had to say. I must have went through 99 range of emotions in 15 minutes. As soon as I unblocked his number the phone rings, it’s him. He said that text was intended for you. He said I saw you putting away those things you bought from the Victoria Secrets the other day which included a pink bra and panty set. I wanted to see you in it. And I like those red pumps you wore to work the other day so I wanted you to wear those too. I was SO embarrassed. Later he told me that I don’t dress up for him anymore and when I thought about it I don’t. I felt we were pass that being together for 2 years. But I guess I need to stay on my game.
My man is a nice looking and disireable guy. We live in the Miami area and if anyone know anything Miami these women are relentless and the men can have the pick of the litter. I’m a beautiful woman, if I say so myself, so I am not intimidated by the next woman. But he often times try and make me jealous by bringing up females who is interested in him. I guess he is looking for a reaction from me but I never give him one all it does is push me away from him. I will never compete for a mans affection. I feel if I have to compete then he’s not intended for me in the first place. Now that’s different if another woman was trying to move on your territory. Now that’s war. But if the man is making me feel like I have to compete then I’m like it’s time to move the ‘F’ on… With that being said, I stopped doing alot of things I use to do because I did not want him to get the impression that I was trying to compete with the next woman.
Anyway … He came back to my place after leaving the club and the brother put it down like no other. For real!!! Later on that morning when we were having our pillow talk he tells me that I needed to take it up a notch and start doing the things I use to do if I wanted our relationship to last. He said that the women in the streets were becoming very tempting and he did not want to leave me. I understand but I do feel some kind of way about that… So would he really leave me for what he see’s in the club. I mean in all due respect didn’t that woman dress up and fix her hair for the purpose to attract a man… 9 times out of 10 she does not look like that everyday… Hold up… Well we’re in Miami, she probably does look like that everyday. LOL… But my point how much does substance weigh in a relationship in men. I know they are visual beings… blah, blah, blah… But give me a break. I hope the hell he don’t expect me to be in panties and a bra and 4 inch heels every night to turn him on. That’s just not realistic to me….
So many questions: Is this the same bf who’s car u bugged? Has he confessed 2 having the 2bm’s? He has cheated multiple times?R ya’ll working on the r-ship & is he tryna rebuild trust? Im juss asking, Im not being judgmental at all, real tlk
Men are visual creatures. I couldnt imagine tryna live in Miami. In fact, i refuse 2 visit Miami until Im bikini ready, which may be never!
The thing abt men is, as long as they have money, they can get women from 18-99, Some sickos will go below the age of 18. Anyway, ur man sounds like he wants picture perfect. And, he pretty much told u, “Wht u wont do, some1 else will.” Which is true. Idk if i wud want tht type of pressure. It is already so hard being a woman, then add a man tht expects perfection & that could lead to insecurities & low self-esteem.
With him, i juss have a feeling that if u looked like Pilar Sanders, Megan Foxx, Dollica Bryant, Kelly Rowland, etc that it still would not be enuf b/c he is just “out there” in them streets. I wouldnt work myself to death to pls some1 who i cant trust. I would hate to see u lose ur soul to him, just 4 him to move on anyway. Again, i state tht I want a man after ICorinthians 13: 4-7. If i gain wt, he got my back. If im sick, he got me. If i make a mistake, he got me. Ur man just sounds way too superficial 4 me. He should be doing the work to keep u, not vice versa. And if he had some act right, u would have some act right…..it goes both ways. And dnt be dickmatized, ma’am. I dnt know u, but u seem like kool ppl…..I juss want u to be happy!
@Rapid Relief, Yes the very same bf who when I bugged his car I found out he had knocked up 2 women and now has 2 babies. No, he has not fessed up and I have not told him that I bugged his car (I still have everything on tape though). After a while I just left it alone. The only way he will fess up is if I play the tape and for some reason I can’t do that. I guess I still want to be with him and/or in some strange way I don’t want to make it real. That is the only logical reason that I could come up with. I’m sure if I was 100% done with him I would play the tape.
Girl you are on point… LOL… Regarding the picture perfect and what I don’t do someone else will… And you’re right… Some other woman will do it because she knows what he could do for her financially.
I don’t know… Right now I know I’m not going anywhere. A few weeks ago he had this serious talk with me. Said he noticed that I have not been happy and that it seems that I’m sad all the time. He asked if I still wanted to be with him and if I still loved him. He said if I didn’t then we needed to go our separate ways because it didn’t make sense for us both to be unhappy. So I told him that I did love him and wanted the relationship to work but I couldn’t take all that other B.S. that comes along with being his lady. He said he will work on it. So we will see.
Trust me, I’m no fool. I know a man in his position is going to slip and slide every now and again. But that baby ISH… SMFH…
IMHO, i feel tht u shud confront him, in a loving manner, abt the 2 baby’s. I say tht b/c ALL of tht info u know is destroying ur r-ship. I feel that is y u dnt have any ambition to please him like u used to b/c u r carrying HUGE baggage. And b/c u know ALL of tht info, it is making u suspicious abt all of his actions. He sent u a flirty txt & U WENT OFF! He was prolly like “wht the hell?” Anytime he is late, doesnt call or txt, u will be thinking he is doing dirt. I say: Start off the new yr fresh & dnt let ho3s win in 2012. Go to couples counselling to deal with this. I do think he luvs u, but some men just dnt know how to luv b/c they never witnessed loving, successful r-ships. I can mos def tell u luv him. U carrying around tons of baggage, taking ALL of the strain of the r-ship, so tht u wont stress him out. Now, THAT is luv. But, u arent handling it tht well, & ur bf is sensing that. Start healing!
I had smtg similar happen this wk. I met a guy back in Nov. who was honest & told me he had a gf but they were “1 convo from being ova.” I knew then tht we could only b friends. My friend is Facebook friends with the gf & on Christmas, the gf posted a pic of them 2getha which read “Our 1st Christmas together.” My friend took a pic of it & sent it 2 me. Fast forward 2 present, he tells me he is going to Happy Hour, but can see me after that. I WENT OFF! Cuz i felt he was tryna play me like a jump-off (we have NEVER had sex). I didnt want him coming over to MY house after he had been drinking with God knows who, then expecting some sex. No sir! He txt me tht i took everything the wrong way. I realized i went off b/c of the info i knew abt him & tht he hasnt ended tht r-ship. Info like tht can be TOXIC to the soul. I felt tht i was in a position tht i couldnt say anythg (abt Xmas pic) b/c he told me from the beginning tht he had some1. So, me going off abt tht pic, woulda made me look silly, imo. So, i held it in until it erupted like a volcano.
@Ebony, my friend girls share your same sentiments. If I’m not ready to break it off then just keep it moving. I agree too. I hate when people make a big scene about something then nothing changes. I have a cousin who does that. She will sell out on her man in front of everyone and act like she’s done with him. We all come around to cheer her up only to find out they are still together. I’m sure he is use to the routine by now as well because he stay in trouble with her. LOL…
@Rapid Relief, you are right. This info is eating me up inside and has definitely taken a toll on the r-ship. Since I know and he don’t know that I know he walks around acting like things are good. Sometimes I can’t help but look at him cross eyed. I question everything he does now. It’s to the point I don’t even trust his thoughts. I feel like he’s plotting something all the time.
In all honesty I have met a couple of guys since I discovered all that ISH. My plan was to cheat on him to make myself feel better and to secretly say I got you back without him even knowing. I wanted to be the one walking around with a secret. But I haven’t followed through on it but I do communicate with the 2 guys, mostly through text messages. I went out on a dinner date with one of them and the other I have canceled out on a couple of dates. IDK…. I kind of thought if I cheated on him then we would be even and I could move on. But realistically it doesn’t work like that so I won’t drag anyone else into my drama.
Damn, I wish I didn’t love his good/no good ass. LOL
Wow! You have the opportunity to cheat/move on to smtg new & u dnt even wana do it??!! Yeah, u r definitely in luv. But Im glad tht u r NOT being selfish by sucking others into ur drama. Tht is 1 of my biggest Pet peeves……when ppl KNOW they got drama going on & suck innocent victims into it. Ive learned “hurt ppl, hurt ppl.” This is why & how alot of bm/bd is started b/c some1 wants revenge or wants to try to prematurely move on & they end up pulling others into the mix. Many ppl have been beat up, stabbed, shot, & even killed. Well, keep us posted. Hope everything works out 4 good!
@Tameka
If you’re not ready to leave him then i do think it’s no point of playing the tape. I’m not going to lie I fell out in laughter when you flipped out after reading the text message he sent only to find it was really meant for you.
However, I do think since he requested for you to step it up from time to time I think you should meet him half way. You don’t have to spend every day in stilettos,fully made up, and Beyonce ish hair…but I do think you should find a level that comfortable for you.
I say a level that is comfortable for you because I don’t want you to change your entire identity and being…and he still cheats on you. I think that is a double whammy when you change yourself for a dude, but he still acts like that isn’t enough and cheats on you.
Hopefully you can find a happy median.
I recently had an encounter with an ex and am feeling some type of way about it. He has a gf but was willing (and did) take it to the next level with me during this encounter. I don’t think I am the only girl he has cheated with but I don’t know for sure and I’m almost positive his gf doesn’t know because I have seen that they put on a front like their relationship is perfect. A part of me wants to scream and tell his gf “GIRL YOU ARE SO STUPID!!” but I know saying something to her is probably the wrong thing to do. I have had a hard time dealing with these feelings because I am not a cheater and I know what it feels like to be cheated on but at the moment I was thinking about myself and my needs. I mean I guess if she is smart enough she will find out one day. Has anyone else ever been in this situation?! HELP!
Ummmmm…..why r u tryna go after the gf when YOU KNOWINGLY messed around with him?! Why is the gf “stupid?” Wouldnt YOU be the “stupid” one?! Not tryna be harsh, but the gf has NOTHING to do with this. This is all about YOU! YOU feeling crunchy cuz u let him soak ur panties, but he still chilling with the gf. Have u talked to him? Has he tried to comeback 4 2nds? U even admitted that this was about u & ur needs (selfish). U got ur needs fulfilled so shut up & move on. If she finds out & comes to u for the truth, have the decency to tell her the TRUTH in a non-confrontational manner. I juss have a feeling that u want more, but he doesnt. He has his gf & will only use u 4 sex, to jump-on & jump-off b4 the sun comes up. Even if they break-up, do u really wana rebound with him? Hell, u cant even trust this fool! Deal with ur feelings (of inadequacy) & move on. The End!
LMAO, Rapid Relief you are the truth girl… I agree with you 110%… I wish a biotch would come up to me and tell me they had sex with my man. I would be like why the hell are you telling me. If she expected me to break it off with him for that then she would be disappointed. More than likely when I told him what she did he would not have any dealings with her anymore anyway.
Ive been in this situation before where my ex got another gf but was still trying to get with me. He would tell me what I wanted to hear at the moment but went about his business when I wasnt around. He was the one that kept contacting me and eventually his gf caught on and found out. She never confronted me but wanted to talk about me to other people and say that it was all my fault. Of course he denied it and she believed him. The only reason I was still talking to my ex was cause I had feelings for him still but once I realized that I would never stoop down to his level again I cut off all communication and MOVED ON! Just flat out telling the gf whats going on is not the best thing to do because do you really think she is going to believe you?? Some men are dogs and want to have their cake and eat it too! Hes showing hes a cheater do you really want someone like that?? Do better for yourself!
@Tay
I feel like you want to tell her because YOUR feelings are hurt. So, you really think you’ll be doing her a favor if you tell this woman you slept with her boyfriend and you knew he had a girlfriend?
I think you might be leaving out some information on your post. I think you have feelings for him. You slept with him and thought maybe, just maybe he would leave his girlfriend and get back with you. When that didn’t happen, THEN you decided that you should tell his girlfriend. So because your feelings are hurt you want to go hurt her feelings.
I could be totally wrong, but that what it seems like to me.
I don’t think you should tell her because if you really wanted to do this girl a favor you wouldn’t have slept with her boyfriend.
Thanks for posting your story though…
I am officially the biggest lame on this site. I am tearing up as I type this. I made plans with Yong Buck on Monday to spend NYE with him. I texted him earlier today & didn’t hear anything back from him. I have waited, & waited, & waited, but haven’t heard anything from him. It is now after 11:30p.
We did make up after that party incident earlier this month, but only after I txt him 1st. I told him, “If you are grown enough to deal with a 32 year old, then you are grown enough to deal with adult situations.” The next day, he txt me that I was special & that he wanted me in his life & that he really, really liked me but knew it could not go anywhere. We both accepted that we would be friends.
Now, my “friend” is AWOL after I bought pizza, soda, Red Bull (so that I could stay up with him b/c I go to bed early). At this point, I don’t know if I’m getting played or if he is just not comfortable with me. I was even thinking, maybe he thought I would try to sex him, so maybe that’s why he didn’t come thru (that was NOT my plan, we were supposed to watch tv & possibly play Uno).
If he knew earlier today that he wasn’t going to come through (I txt him around 3pm), why didn’t he just cancel plans with me? This is insane! And I’m pissed off & hurt. I have cried, not only b/c he stood me up, but b/c I could have made plans with someone else. “If” I get to talk to him again, I am ending the friendship. Friends don’t stand each other up & friends should be able to communicate. I feel he has jinxed my entire 2012 & I am so very much embarrassed. Everyone is going to ask what I did for NYE & I will have to lie instead of tell the truth , which is I laid in bed, waiting for phone to ring as I watched Martin re-runs).
Happy New Year to everyone & I hope you had a much better evening/night than I did.
Does anyone have any suggestions? Or, do you agree with my decision?
Hey love!! You are NOT the biggest lame on this site. Clearly you haven’t read my earlier post! lol
First though…YOU really like your “friend”…and not as a friend, but as a boyfried, lover, boo thang, etc! I think your “friend” brought in the New Year with ppl that he loved/mattered to him. If he already had plans with you since MONDAY he was fully aware of them and could have canceled Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday…hell Friday OR he could responded to your text at 3pm on Saturday!
Oh and you don’t need to talk to him to end the “friendship”…you can just end the “friendship”. I realized that I only needed to “talk” to end something when I wanted the person to talk me back into it.
Oh and I kinda got stood up on NYE and I won’t let that define the entire year.
Maya Angelou said, “The first time someone shows you who they are, believe them.”
And you need to believe “Young Bucks” actions because he is being extra “shady” as your friend.
I agree with everything u said, esp the Maya Angelou quote. And I do admit that I REALLY like him, but like I posted earlier, I know it can not go anywhere. I’m grown enough to keep my feelings in check & in no way/shape/form have I tried to force myself on him. I have NO sexual feeling towards him…..we are super cool friends. Our last txts were on Wed & we were talking about Uno & paintball. We even hung out until 2am on 12/23 at my house. I keep giving him a little rope b/c of his age, b/c if it were anyone else, I would have cursed them out, deleted their phone # but I have a hard time doing that to him. I spoke to a family member about the situation & she believes he likes but: 1)could not get out of prior arrangements with BM or 2) that he was not comfortable spending NYE with me.
I’m frustrated b/c just last week he told me he had a female friend who was telling him “I love u,” & pressuring him to be in a relationship. I told him to “duck off” & give her space. His reply, “Im going to give it another week or 2.” But, when it comes to me, he has absolutely no problem “ducking off” from me. This is actually the 3rd time. The first time was back in the spring, so I just shrugged it off & assumed he got back with his bm. We reconnected after 6mos & he said “I just needed time away from everybody.” The 2nd time was the party incident. Now this. He has not even txt me Happy New Years, so the lil bastard knows he has done something wrong.
Call me silly, but I really do think he likes me. I think he is just afraid of the situation. That party incident, I think it scared him b/c he got jealous. Same thing back in the Spring. We were hanging out 2-3x/wk, then BAM, nothing. I can not do this roller coast stuff. Im too old. I truly just wanted to have fun with him. I am young at heart. I was not trying to marry him.
Just fall back. He’s not ready yet.. He probably is feeling you but not mature enough to deal with a mature woman right now. Just live your life and continue doing you.
@ Louisiana Lover – i can completely relate. infact for a looongg minute i wanted to blog on this site about my similar situation but when i would start it would take way too long to explain lol i couldve written a book about it. i cared about him dearly but truly understood that he was not bf material AT ALL and i never really looked at him like that and wasnt even that attracted to him. But there was a genuine care and chemistry between us. We both could be 100% ourselves wit each other without question and that meant more to me than anything. And to be real i held him down as a friend when he was goin thru things in his life. He admitted a few times that if he was in a diff place in his life then it would be diff between us..at least thats how he felt. But with all the good that he was and as much of a “friend” that i thought he was, he was just in a place in his life where he was trying to get himself together. Which meant he wasnt consistent at all..would tell me one thing and do another (ie say were gonna hang out and then wouldnt here from him..but if he thought i was mad at him he would BLOW up my phone.) He wasnt dependable and so on and so on.
Now noticed i said “had” a friend. For me it got to be a bit much bc i would treat him wit the same respect, expectation, consideration, etc as my friend but found that he lacked 90% of the qualities i believe a friend is especially when it came to reciprocating that respect, consideration, support that friends have for one another (at least what my friends have). So i had to let that go completely.
I say aaallll that to say i dont doubt that homeboy is feelin u but i am a firm believer that when men dont feel stable or satisfied in their current state in their life they arent able to put much focus or energy into any relationship..be it friend or relationship. im not at all sayin leave him alone..but i think by dealin with him ur subconsciously settin urself up for disappointment cuz although you know there cant be anything between u two right now for whatever reason at the same time there are feelings that u have…and when he doesnt respond by action or verbally the way you want..those feelings will get hurt.
Thx Tameka & Yaris! I feel much better knowing that I am not the problem, but its him. I was really upset on New Yrs Day & had even loss my appetite, but now, for some odd reason, I feel at peace about the situation. I agree with both of you, he isn’t ready & I think every time he had positive or negative feelings towards me, he ran from it. I will keep you all posted, if there is anything to post. But, we do attend the same church 0_o.
@Yaris, did your friendship end badly? Or, did you just have the talk that the friendship wasn’t working? Did you try to tell him about your needs & tell him that he wasn’t being a good friend? Have you heard from him? And, what was going on in his life that was making him emotionally unavailable? Sorry, for all the questions but I am kinda nosey- – just a little (lol).
LOL @ bein nosey. Your not being nosey..airing this out is actually good for me
but Whew! this may take a min lol. But your not the prob and he isnt either really. its just timing. thats how i look at it anyways. men dont operate like us. I think generally speaking regardless what us women are dealin wit..if we care and value u we’ll fit u in our lives and if u got an issue we wanna be the ones to help u fix it. i dont think a lot of men are like that. and thats kinda why it may be hard for a lot of us to understand their reaction or behavior. But it aint got nothin to do wit us therefore its not our issue to fix. But to answer your question… it ended badly several times lol and then the final goodbye was a lot more simple. Eventho it didnt start of this way, it just became a pattern with us..we were good for a few weeks..then we got into it cuz of somethin he did or didnt do…he would blow up my phone/text me a gazillion times..i would ignore him for a few weeks and then i would eventually give in and we would talk about it, gain what seemed like common understanding about what each other needs and then the pattern would start all over again.
We did this for all of 2011. it got to the point where i asked him “are u purposely sabotaging your relationship with me?” When you talk to someone about the same issue over and over and over again and that person repeatedly does that same thing over and over and over again..u begin to feel like hes doin it intentionally ya know? So yes i tried 25523454 times to tell him what i needed. i tried face to face, phone, email, yellin, talkin calmly lol none of it sunk in. i just began to realize that theres nothin i can do to fix that. the only prob i was having was letting it all go.
Me and him go way back tho. we dated for a few months when i was in college. There was not much to it at all. we always remained cool since then. As far as what he was goin thru..i dont wanna air out what he was dealin with but just to summarize..beginning in college some things happened that thru him off track and i think since then hes struggled with the fact that his life didnt turn out exactly how he thought it would. and because hes kinda dwelled on that disappointment for a lil longer than he should of, now he feels like hes got a lot of catchin up to do to get where he wants to be. to me (and ive said this to him many times) hes got the type of ambition where hell be great at whatever he chooses to be great at. its just making that decision as to what that thing is is what hes is trying to figure out. And i havent figure out if its as a result of that or in addition to all that that hes just extremely selfish which makes him unavailable to be anything of value to anyone right now..well at least to me. The last time i heard from him he wanted to talk…he told me he would call me back the next day to have yet another one of our heart to heart convos (by this time he had moved to another state and how he went about it hurt my feelins as usual) I knew in my heart of hearts i wouldnt hear from him just cuz thats how he is! but i felt like because our friendship was the on the line he would at least come thru one time. well..he didnt..after me callin and textin him several times i didnt hear from him until 2 weeks later. when i got a text sayin “hey whats up. hope ur good. were still gonna talk when i get some time”. And thats exactly how he was..everything was on his terms on his time no regards to anyone else or their feelings. so i texted him back a message tellin him basically that at this point i didnt think it was necessary. No beef. if later on we were able to reconnect in life then we could go from there but until then i preferred to close this door on me and him and asked that he not contact me. That was right before thanksgiving and after i made that decision i finally felt a peace with everything. Most of my energy was focused on this guy in 2011. i just refused to carry that into 2012. Im an adult and i know myself and i have to be honest about what i can handle and what i cant handle. i value relationships. im not someone who keeps a lot of ppl close for my own reasons. And i cant handle selfish ppl because im a giver. i give my time and energy without question to those that i care about. But when i do that for someone who doesnt understand the concept of reciprocation then theres only one person thats gonna get hurt in the end and thats me. i have to take responsibility for myself and the situations i get into. there were a lot of things that led to the “end” and there were a lot of opportunities for me to just leave it alone. but i didnt and by the end of it all i felt taken advantage of and just spent by it all. im sure he had his feelings about it all too. and tho i know he felt deeply for me and he may not have meant to do and say a lot of things…it didnt feel too good to me. and after many failed attempts to be good with him. i just got tired of it. i wasnt doing either of us any good by continuing to try to sustain somethin that wasnt meant to last longer than a season.
its funny cuz when i read your post you talked about him and u makin plans to play uno. We did that! lol im not sure the extent of your relationship with ur guy but me and mine were really close and we shared a lot of things with one another and i do miss him at times but i dont miss the disappointment, or being stood up or the lack of consideration or not being able to trust someones word. He asked me one day if it was 2am and his car broke down and he was stranded on the highway would i help him out. i said of course! i said now the question is if i was in the same situation ..would i even bother to call u? i told him the answer is no because he only does things for others if its convenient for him. He responded in silence lol Bottomline thats not a good feelin to have of someone that u consider urself close to. He could never say that about me. so i would rather us go our separate ways and allow each other the space to get our lives together then to continue to do more damage to one another. Me and him were definitely just meant for a season
Anyways, if ur good ppls…they always come back lol unfortunately for him by that time u may be on to the next!
Thank you Yaris for sharing your story! And, I must agree it is all about timing. It is probably divine intervention that allowed us to meet at such a crucial time in his life. I think if he were older & knew it was over with his bm, we would inseparable. I’m not even mad at him. I think I was mad for like 2.2 seconds, bcuz I always factor in his age. A week before he disappeared, he told me that he really, really liked me & would marry me. That was the best thing he could have ever said to me. And I believe him. I started tearing up & I told him maybe in another lifetime (I know this probably sounds ridiculous). And it is always comforting to hear “they always come back.” I do think he will, but it will be too late. It will probably end up being a life lesson for him to appreciate what you have, to live in the moment, to live for yourself, & to be respectful and considerate of others feelings. Like I said, I will keep you all updated.
Ok, I figured i wud vent here, rather than 2 friends & fam so they wont think im crazy. I saw 27 abt 3wks ago while i was out on a date. He tried to keep his composure & hold his head high, but whateva….I know the nucca was hurt (LOL). Anyway, from time 2 time, I will lurk on the 2nd bm’s page (the bm that answered his door). So, come to find out, his 2nd baby is sick. Had to go to Ohio for surgery on his airway tube. So, now im wondering if 27 just didnt kno how 2 handle a BM with a sick child + a g.f., or is he just a dirty dog? Im not going back, but i just wanted to express my feelings. If i were to mention this 2 my sis or bff they would have a fit & holler “never look back.” Its just a thought. I couldnt imagine having to care for a sick baby & I have actually been praying for the baby & the BM b/c (from lurking on her fb pg), he isnt treating her rite. It makes me wana cry 4 her & the baby. Its a good thing i didnt try 2 hold on or “fight 4 my man” b/c i woulda never won. Tht baby is sick & the bm needs him (27).
I want my own man who can luv me like ICorinthians 13:4-7
I have seached this entire forum and I didn’t see a previous post from you and “27″ where can I go to find the before story?
Go to the post “Thats Just My Baby Daddy” on Oct. 3, 2011 & i give full details of the final incident with him.
P.S. Natoyaebony, is there a way for you to move the comment section to the “top”, instead of the bottom? We have to scroll thru 100+ comments in order to be able to post.
@RapidRelief
I’ll have to call the web designer and see if that can be changed.
I’m not even going to tell you how I had the bright idea to attempt to fix something on my site and messed up the entire format. If you came to the site last week you’ll notice it was messed up from like Tuesday to damn near Friday.
It cost me $70 to get it fixed, lets just say I won’t be trying to fix or change anything by myself anymore. lol
I want to ask a question for NatoyaEbony like Essence did.
I have beenreading your website from the beginning. (i love the new layout, BTW) I have commented before on your old site under Anonymous why did you start moderating the comments?
Sorry it took so long to get back to you…I was uber busy.
It’s a long story, but I’ll give you a short version.
I woke up one day and saw I had alot of comments. I was excited and i started reading the 1st comment and it was filled with “bitch”, “ugly” and other colorful words…I scrolled down and realized the other comments had the same words popping out.
The 1st of the comments came at like 2 something in the morning and the last comment was between 5-6 am..closer to 6. I realized it was probably the same girl or group of girls posting…and because it was after 2am I figured it was a group of girls who just came from the club and was feeling themselves and apparently are uber lame to spend about 2 1/2-3 hours commenting on a bunch of post on a website.
I called my mom and told her, but she was unmoved. She figured it was the same group of girlies from Tallahassee that gave me trouble. She said, “did you read them all?” I said, “No, maybe 1/10 of the 1st one and then I scanned the rest of the “new” comments sections and knew by the words that popped out that it wasn’t worth me reading.”
She said, “Delete it. Whoever they are or she is, is really childish. It took what 2-3 hours comment on all those post and you can delete them in 2-3 seconds…and then it’s not your personality to even sit and read everything they posted… it was a waste of their time and maybe they have time to spend on a person they claim to not like, but I don’t and neither do you.”
Thast exactly what I did. I went back on my site clicked the post and they were all gone in like 3 seconds. I read maybe 4 lines of the first post and whoever it was spent their time and energy commenting for a couple of hours on my site.
I wasn’t going to moderate the comments after that because I don’t mind the comments from my readers..I actually love them, but I figured if this person (or group of persons) decided to do that again I didn’t want to subject my readers to that. I’m just thankful I caught it early in the morning. Their last post was like almost 6 in the AM. I was up and deleted them by 7. #sillyrabbits
I think they or that person commented again on my blog post titled “For the Love of $”. Something about “why are my comments moderated” made me think it was them…in order to know my comments are moderated a person would have had to comment before…and i laughed at the transparent excuse they found my site on theybf or was it washingtonpost…you google NatoyaEbony and every site I ever posted on shows up. I loved that my new friends (readers) stuck up for me though. they put that person in there place! =)
So that’s why I moderate the comments. To limit that type of craziness. Anything that is about the post and not a personal attack on me I post. Im not deleting comments for the hell of…in fact the only comments I ever deleted was the ones fromm that event morning I just told you about.
LOL…I SAID i wasn’t going to give you the short version…i think that was the long version =)
I don’t have a confession or any drama to tell, but I’d like to know why don’t you use real names in your blog,Natoya?
Because it’s rude. Just because I’ve met, hungout, dated, etc someone doesn’t mean they signed up to have their business posted on my site.
I have fun blogging, but I know that people have kids, friends, family, and I wouldn’t want to put any of them in harms way or drama because of my blog.
Im sleeping w/ my friend’s boyfriend,but she cheats on him all the time anyway
@ Ashlee
Sweetie, this definitely calls for a glass of Wine. Hold on a sec, I will be back.
@ Ebony
This section should be called “Confessions”. Lol *Que Usher*
@Ashlee
I’m trying to figure out a way to say this without sounding rude or bitchy, BUTTTT I would have to whoop your ass.
An unknown woman sleeping with my boyfriend I will just ignore her. It’s not my personality to confront a woman about the dude I’m seeing. She’s not the person that has to respect me, it is him.
All bets are off when it comes to my friends sleeping with my dude. Respect is EARNED not GIVEN. So the random woman doesn’t have to respect me, but my friends do! That is very disrespectful and you saying “she cheats on him all the time anyway” doesn’t make it any better!!! How did it become your place to serve her back her karma?
With a friends like you, who needs enemies?
With all that being said…thanks for reading and commenting on my blog.
@SatinDoll
LOL. I might change the title and make everybody start their post with “Forgive me father for I have sinned…”
Lmao. “Forgive me father for I have sinned…”
@ Ashlee
I concur with Ebony. I really think that is really messed up for you to do that to your friend.
@NatoyaEbony
You are always so,so, so( I cannot think of the word) when you respond to your readers, you saying “kick your ass” made me laugh out loud literally. =)
@ CakesandPies
I know, right. I was sitting at my desk “lol” looking around if anyone notice and thinking that I am crazy.
@CakeandPies
LMAO! I can be very nice, but if provoked I will snap, crackle, and mothereffen pop!
I’ve always been the type of person either I don’t react or I overreact. I have no happy median. So either you will get nothing out of me or my reaction will make your feel like you’re locked in a lion’s den and the lions haven’t ate in days.
In college I remember this girl was talking trash about me and because I wouldn’t say anything back to her ppl thought I was “scary”, and then one day this one girl said something to me and I went T.H.E hell off and everybody was thinking “where did that come from? i didn’t know you had that in you?” Some days I brush the foolishness off and some days I don’t.
Trust me, I haven’t even told all the stories yet of me and my real crazy moments in college. I’m so embarrassed now.lol
Well d@m! My 1st thought is “I HOPE this is a joke! Surely this is a joke.” If not, i agree with NatoyaEbony. U need 2 b dragged down the street by ur weave/hair & BEAT until the ghetto hoodrat is exorcised from ur soul! Real Talk!
@ Rapid Relief
OMG…Lol That is a bit much, but I get the jist of what you are saying.
@RapidRelief
I thought the same thing too, and even if it is there is still somebody out there messing with their “friend” boyfriend.
And yeah, I would never want to be on your bad side.
Update**
Ok, I’ve still been chilling with my 20 year old friend. We had a deep convo on Fri. He admitted that he has not & will not tell his bm that he is “conversating” (I know it’s not a word) with me. Excuse: He needs her to be able to focus on school. He is also helping her financially b/c she is in college & does not work.
We went out last night & while I was sitting next to him, a dude from another table began mouthing to me, “I want you,” “Meet me outside,” & “Is that your man?” I tell 20 & tell him that it was disrespectful. I went over to the dudes table b/c it was my step-brothers friend. I tell my step-brother whats going on & ask dude to stop. By the time I get back to the table, 20 is pissed off & doesnt talk to me for the rest of the night. Wouldnt even dance with me! Im afraid I might have ran him off. But, I feel like, b/c of his close relationship with his bm, we can only be friends anyway. Plus, 20 has to realize he is in the Real World & ish like this happens. And now, this morning, Im kind of mad b/c I dont know if I should find his behavior immature or that he is being manly & trying to show his bravado.
My question: Why did he get mad? I didnt disrespect him, dude did & I tried to stop it. Does he have a right to get mad, since we are just friends (we are not having sex)? Could it be that he likes me & that is why he got mad? I asked him if he was ok, & he just said “You Good.” He refused to talk, so this is why Im asking. Confused, help please
P.S. Would it be okay for me to get phone numbers while out with him? Again, we are not together. No kissing, no sexing.
And, before the incident happened, he made plans to go to some chicks hotel birthday party after he took me home. So, can he dish it but not take it?
@Louisianna Lover, Girl he likes you. He likes you more than he is letting on. One would think his reaction is immature but it’s probably the way he deals with things. I dated this older guy one time and he would get mad at me when other men would look at me while we were out. SMDH…
If he is doing him then I definitely think you should be able to do you. As for geting numbers when you two are out together I think that could get messy. Well as long as you don’t exchange numbers in his face…
Just give him a minute or two… He will be aight… He probably didn’t realize that he liked you as much as he does and now he’s having to deal with his emotions.
@Tameka
I agree with your entire answer.
@ Louisianna Lover he definitely likes you. I have a few homeboys I go out with and they don’t get mad about anything…in fact they spend the night trying to introduce me to ppl. So your “Friend” got caught up in his feelings that night ya’ll went out. He definitely didn’t know he liked you that much
Thanks u guys for the advice! Its kinda hard for me to grasp my head around him liking me, since he has so much going on in his life (bm, thirsty females). And we flirt, but nothing sexual or inappropriate. Maybe me lurking on Twitter isn’t the best thing to have done because I think I based his friendship with me off of what I see on there (having so many female followers, flirting). And he has never expressed feelings like that towards me either. So, I don’t know. It would be very flattering to know he likes me & I would feel like a Kid in a Candy Store! But, I never really thought about it like that. I thought he got mad because the “spotlight” was off of him & was on me. I haven’t talked to him since Saturday night & I refuse to call. If our friendship is over, I can handle it, but I will miss him
My BFF is sleeping with a married man and I feel some type of way about it.
Its ur conscious tht has u feeling tht way & ALWAYS go with ur intuition
I had a friend who was doing the same thing & I didnt feel comfortable with the situation either. I felt tht if we were constantly tlkn abt married men, then she wud have ME ATTRACTING married men. Plus, she was going to Minister’s School. I didnt wana judge b/c the Bible says dnt judge, but I was thinking, “How u in minster’s college & knowingly messing with a married man?!” needless to say, 1 of the dudes hit & never came back. The other dude just stopped calling.
I have learned, do NOT mess with any1′s marriage. U reap wht u sow & it wont be pretty. Alisha, even tho u see this trainwreck b4 ur eyes, try not to judge her ( she is prolly dealing with low self-esteem rite now & the married man is telling her everything she wants to hear) & try 2 b supportive. U can even speak up in a loving manner & tell her u dnt think its rite & it will prolly end badly, but u will be there 4 her. Lastly, women need 2 realize that cheating married men are PREDATORS. They look 4 weak, low self esteem women to prey on & to “drop their load” on. They rarely leave their wife for the “sidepiece.” That is all!
I am perplexed. What is really going on with these colleges; Boston (Fight that went viral on youtube), UCF (porn star), Penn State (Abuse scandal), and Florida A & M University (hazing; which Ebony touch on in her previous post).
UCF?pornstar? what happened?
My homegirl is messing with an exboyfriend of mine. Him and I dated about 7 years ago and yes I am with somebody else and have been for the past 3 years, but I can’t help but feel some type of way about it.
@ 2snapsâle
I mean, it is understandable to feel some kind of way about it. Have you spoken to her about it? Just let her know how you feel about it. Do you still have feelings for your ex?
I think any1 wud feel a lil’ salty abt it. 7yrs is a long time…..3yrs of being common law marriage. Not tryna stir the pot, but some marriages dnt last 7yrs. I think it is wrong on both of their parts & 1 of them shoulda had a conscious 2 say, Naw we cant do this.
If u say smtg, she gona run & tell him, & they gona say u jealous
If u dnt say smtg, it will eat u up inside.
U shoulda nipped it in the bud at the very beginning. And she needs 2 make sure tht his feeling 4 her are genuine & he not using her to get at u/sex, etc.
a guy and i just made it official. (we also made it offiicial on facebook…lol), but his xgirl is forever calling him. he asked me to be his girlfriend and when i agreed he immediately changed is rship status on facebook, his xgirl is his friend on facebook so she has seen all of this, but yet she still calls his phone. not even from her number but random numbers and blocked numbers. is she just crazy or do you think he is talking to her when i’m not around? i’m just confused why would she continue to call him if it is clear we go together
I am a bit perplexed as well; I mean, why don’t he un-friend (I don’t know how Facebook works, but I am sure something of that nature can be done) her? Did you speak with him about all of this and how it makes you feel. The best place to start is with him; having that line of communication open so nothing can be misconstrued about what is taking place. Our (women) intuition(s) are on point most of the time, just have a sit down with him and her if possible so that everything is in the open. It could be that she have a hard time letting go of him. Communication is the cornerstone to any successful relationship.
If ur boyfriend immediately changed his r-ship status, then I do NOT believe he is having any contact with his ex. Humans want wht they cant have (The Art of Seduction by Robert Greene). IMHO, i dnt think he is giving her anything (convo, time, etc.), hence her thirsty behavior. Now, if she disappears or tries to become extra friendly with u, then I would start to become juss a lil suspicious.
Im relatively new to fb (9mos), & have learned tht if a man puts “in a r-ship with…..” then he is pretty serious. I wouldnt worry abt the ex. Enjoy ur r-ship, be confident in urself, & dnt let her negativity & thirstiness affect you!
@ Ripid Relief
“The Art of Seduction by Robert Greene” Was it a good read?
The Art of Seduction was a difficult read. Greene references alot from the 14th, 15th, 16th centuries, but will then attempt to make it 21st century. I mean…..human behavior hasnt really changed tht much. I was able to digest the majority of the book, but some of my other friends didnt like it. The book pretty much teaches you manipulation…..& it has mostly worked in my life. An easier read is The Rules. Its a great book 4 women b/c it gives a woman guidelines on dating (not calling/txtn, not seeing a man more than 2-3x/wk, etc). I luv this book & follow The Rules. It allows u to rule out the boys from the men pretty quik.
And srry 4 grossing every1 out 2day (*hangs head in shame*)
@ Rapid Relief
Thank you for the brief synopsis. It sounds like the “The Art of War” that was a difficult read for me. I had to read it 2 more times in order to grasp the concept, because I had to write a 2 page paper for each chapter when I was in graduate school. What was difficult for me was, it talks about ” The Art of War” and I had to curb my paper to illustrate my understanding from a Business Leadership prospective.
thanks for all the comments.
I’m going to just talk to him about it and after that discussion it’ll be water under the bridge.
Yes he made he it public, but from personal experience be careful. This is a situation you have to rely on ur instincts about, but I def agree talk to him about it and feel out his reactions about it. If he still seems to get emotional about their relationship or you notice sneaky behavior be cautious.Yes there are “crazy women” but most girls who are labeled “crazy” are done so by the man triggering the behavior.
Hey Prissy_Chrissy
I agree with you “Most girls who are labeled “crazy” are done so by the man triggering the behavior”
Ok, NatoyaEbony, remember the post u did abt hanging out with Boy#1s family & still being kool with his fam? I remember responding once u get rid of the dude, u shud cut every1 off. Well……..i had a dream abt my Boy#2′s g-ma, so I called her & told I would visit. I visited her on the Wed b4 Thanksgiving & had a good time with her. Found out Boy#2 is now engaged & I told her I wished him the best. Why did this silly mofo (Boy #2) txt me “I heard u had an interesting conversation with my g-ma.” I went OFF, cuz I felt tht he took it as a way for me 2 get at him, which i DID NOT!!!! (See, thts y i hadnt talked 2 g-ma in 2yrs b/c i knew my intentions wud be misconstrued)
Well, he called me childish, defensive & had the nerve to say tht he thought we cud b friends, but he sees tht Im not ready. I told him we could never b friends & there was no need 2 communicate. Then, he called me a bytch. I stopped txtn at the point- – when names are getting called, there is really no need to communicate at all.
A Lil’ History: Since 2009, he has & will remain on call block. He tried 2 call me as recently as Sept & oct. but the call got blocked. I didnt return the calls. He got engaged in the middle of Oct. Then, he invited me to a Halloween party via txt 4 his cousin & I declined. Me & the fiance (2yrs ago) got into it, so y wud he invite me to a party? His fiance should be his bff. There is no need 4 me to be in his life.
So my question: Why does he want me in his life, esp after me & fiance dnt get along? Why did HE get so mad that I refused a friendship with him & began name calling? Am I missing smtg here? A MAN woulda respected my feelings & said, “Hey, i respect ur decision. But, if u change ur mind, hit me up. I want 2 b friends.”
Srry NatoyaEbony, u know i give lots of detail….srry so long!
@RapidRelief
I am about to walk into meeting, but as soooon as i get out I’m gonna respond. And I’m like you his fiancee should be his BFF and if ya’ll got into it he definitely shouldn’t be asking you to hangout…which has me thinking everything ain’t all that good with his situation.
I’ll be back to respond!
@ RapidRelief
Do you still have feelings for him?
Absolutely NOT! I thank God & the Universe everyday 4 taking him out of my life. At first, I didnt think that, but now seeing the life path he has chosen, God was looking out 4 me, 2 make sure I would be happy & secure in my future.
@RapidRelief
You can’t be friends or cordial to all your ex’s family members. Yes, I do hangout with Boy #1′s family, but I mostly hang with his sister and aunt. I can hang out with them because Boy#1 is NOT a topic of discussion.
I can’t spend too much time with his mom because she takes my spending time with her as a play to get her son and I’m sure that’s how she is putting it to him. Just last week (a couple of days before Tgiving) I was with Boy #1′s aunt because we were going to a tailgate and Boy #1′s mom called and when she found out I was in the car she said, “Are you coming by for Tgiving.” I said, “No. I’m going to my grandma’s” She responds, “Oh…because Boy#1 is going to be here and I thought you would want to see him..you know you want to see him.” I said, “There is only one person in my past I would want to see and he is not it.” I was offended on the low, but she always does that, so I limit my conversation with her because I don’t feel like going back down memory lane with every conversation.
I think people (not just men) want their cake and brownie too! (I hate the saying “you want your cake and eat it too”…it’s my cake why wouldn’t I want to eat it. LOL) He wants you to still be around, pine over him, be accessible…he wants you to still want him or see if he can still get you…or at least I think so because there is no reason for a friendship.
I think it is highly disrespectful that he would invite you to a party that his fiancee is also attending seeing as though you guys got into it. So, would he have spoke to you if she was standing next to him? Would he have held a conversation with you while she was standing there? Could he take pictures with you if she was there? OR were you suppose to be there and not say anything to him.
My Boy #1 and I attempted a friendship years ago. We both were dealing with other people. I wasn’t hiding the fact that we were cordial, but one day him and I went to the gun range and when his phone rang he put his finger over his mouth like he was trying to tell me “shhhh”. He didn’t want his girlfriend (because her and I got into an altercation *long story* a year prior) to know we were cool. So if I was out with #2 I would speak to #1…but if he was out with his girl and saw me he would act like he didn’t know me…AND right then and there I realized there was NO friendship needed. So if you ever talk your #1 again…ask him just that, “What does his fiancee think about ya’ll potential fship?”
LMAO…my response was longer than yours.
@ Ebony
I concur.
I thought the same thing– that he wanted to have his cake & brownie
. But, I refuse to give him that pleasure. He made his decision & now he must live with it. I refuse to be a “silent” friend, I refuse to give him access 2 me so that he can feel comfortable that he has some1 in the wings in case his current r-ship dnt work. GTFOHWTBS.
I just didnt understand y he got so mad & started calling me names. I was tryna keep it short & sweet. Even told him to enjoy his Christmas holidays, but we juss didnt need 2 communicate. That set him off & he tried to throw up in my face that our families have known each other too long 4 me 2 b such a bytch. My jaw dropped. Oh well, he can have his temper tantrum b/c he will not see r talk to me again. Im done, & have been done since ’09.
Okay it took me a minute to get all the words for the letters “GTFOHWTBS”…but I got it. lmbo
And no…you should be his second string player!
He just acted like spoiled kid if you asked me…Throwing a tantrum because he didn’t get what he wanted…#crymeariver
well isn’t he the pot calling the kettle black with his bytchy antics. he need to have a seat.permanetly.in a corner.facing towards the wall.with the dunce cap.
LMAO….”with the dunce cap”
P.S. 4got to tell u, my “rapper” friend came ova on Monday. He brushed his teeth & when i passed by i saw blood in the sink. i almost vomited. Yeah………he bout 2 get cut off. I mean, I know gums bleed from irritation every now & then, but it just proved 2 me that he got major dental problems & it totally grossed me out!
oh and I definitely just threw up in my mouth…that is effen gross!
That is more than gross. That is unhealthy. Many ailments are can be caused because of bad (decaying, rotten, etc) teeth. I’ve heard of people going to the doctor and having to be prescribed meds due to their teeth poisoning their body. It is serious.
love the site Natoyaebony
Thanks!
But I’m still sitting at my desk grossed out. Matter fact let me text my momma and tell her to schedule me a dentist appt!
@ CherryBlowPop
“I’ve heard of people going to the doctor and having to be prescribed meds due to their teeth poisoning their body.”
I have never heard of that one….Thank you for the information. You know, when you have a wealth of knowledge; i.e., this subject matter, it makes you very particular about your interaction with those you chose to invite in your circle. My health is everything to me.
You’re welcome,satindoll!
I use to work at a dentist office a few years ago. It really is a serious matter. Research has shown chronic dental infections can be a source of inflammation that contributes to cardiovascular disease, stroke, and other related diseases.
Just google it…
@ CherryBlowPop
Thanks.
I will definitely Google it.
@ Rapid Relief
You just gave me all the visual for the day…I can’t. That is just disgusting. And, the thought of him not cleaning up after himself. Eww. I am glad he didnt because you would not have know. Run!
What’s everybody thoughts on a 3some? My boyfriend has been asking for one and I’m not sure if it’s the right thing?
I would only do a 3some with a dude i was NOT in luv with (e.g. a Boo Thang). IMHO, I think u would b opening up Pandora’s Box. This is just ur “boyfriend,” NOT even a fiance. Girl, u dnt have a ring 2 b getting all freaky like this. Now, if u were married & wanted to spice it up, thts different. Do ur Research abt 3somes b/c I have heard more horror stories than pleasant ones. Just say NO 4 now
@ Mercy Me
Your first instinct is usually correct. How do you feel about him asking you for a threesome? I understand that you stated that you are not sure that it is the right thing do, but by him asking you that; how does it make you feel, mentally and emotionally?
I agree with @ RapidRelief; you might be opening Pandora’s box. How serious are you guys?
Hi MercyMe,
I also agree with RapidRelief and SatinDoll you will be opening up Pandora’s Box.
I’m all about do you and do what makes you happy as long as it doesn’t cause any harm (physically, emotionally, mentally). BUT you should check out my post “Do Birds of a Feather Flock Together”. Just like Rapid Relief said, I have also heard more horror stories than success stories when people invite another person in their room.
I also think it’s a bit much for your boyfriend to request a threesome…how long have you guys been together? If it’s been like a year or two I think that question is kind of out of line.
If you do choose to do the threesome do it far far far away from where you and your boyfriend reside. You should not see the person you invited for that “One Night Only” in your local Wal-Mart or 7-Eleven. #JustAThought
Ok, I’m 32 & the guy I’m feeling is 20! He is everything I would want in a man, but he is too young. He is sweet, considerate, thoughtful, mannerable, honest, & has self-confidence. Most of the men I have met lack most of the above qualities I just named. I’m so infatuated with him that sometimes I check his twitter page to see what he is doing. We txt everyday for hours on end, he is extremely handsome, & im head over heels for him. Did i mention we have not had sex? But the emotional & mental stimulation he gives me is making me fall for him hard. What do i do? Do i just back away now? Do I just “kick it” with him? I am in marriage mode now & I know he is not marriage material b/c of the huge age difference. So, do I leave Young Buck alone or just play this out? (SN: I’m realistic & know that this won’t last long & that nothing can come out of it. But, it is extremely rare to connect with someone on such a deep level with no sexual intercourse. He is the BEST thing i have had in my life in the last few years). HELP!
Some ppl are really good with keeping their feelings in a box and accepting a situation for what it is, so if you are like that then have fun with him and let the situation run its course.
What makes you think that he is not on the same page as you? I understand he is 20, but he won’t be 20 forever…do you think it could grow into something?
Im not sure if he is on same page with me b/c he has not expressed those types of feelings We are just super cool. He pretty much texts me everyday. And we can talk about any & everything. And surprisingly, although he is 20, sex rarely comes up. But No, i dont think it can grow into anything & I dont want to feel like a cradle robber. I read most men are not ready for marriage until the age of 29-30. I dont want to take his youth from him. He also has a son with a chick who pulls his strings at times. He admitted to me that he is still close with his bm. It just sucks that he couldnt be 28+. Im very infatuated with him……very! Dudes will text/call, & I roll my eyes. He texts me & I get the Kool-Aid smile.
@Louisiana Lover…. Here’s my 2 cents… Stop being so intense and live your life.
You’re thinking way too much… So what he is 12 years younger. I hate to sound so cliche but age ain’t nothing but a number and he’s over 18 so you are not breaking any laws. You say that you’re ready for marriage… Okay… Just because you are in marriage mode does not mean you will be getting married anytime soon. I’m just keeping it real! You know how many very lonely women are in marriage mode right now and have been for years… They are holding on to their affections, saving it for THE ONE. In the meantime they are walking around mean, bitter and judgemental of everyone elses relationship. They need sex and they need it bad. We all say men are dogs right… Dogs have very keen senses. That is why they are used to detect human emotions. Mr. 20 year old could be the perfect distraction while you lay in waiting…
From what you say he has the qualities that most of the men you know lack. He must be a mature 20 to be able to hold your interest and you must be a young 32 to keep entertaining him. Nothing is wrong with that it just means you guys have met each other in the middle. If he’s available and you’re available I would put the cards out on the table and see where it goes.
One thing I’ve noticed about myself when I was single (well soon to be single again) I attracted more men when I was seeing someone else than when I wasn’t. I think when we as women have some type of relations going on we are more attractive. Maybe it’s because we are not so intense and have that I don’t care attitude.
Well that’s my 2 cents. Tomorrow is not promised to us so make the best out of today. I’m not saying be a rebel but don’t be so intense.
4 Yes’s, 1 No. I think I will keep him around 4 now. If its starts 2 get too hairy, I will back up! Thanks 4 the advice ya’ll!!!!!!
Keep us posted!
If I was you…I would back away. The more you talk, chill, hang out, etc THE MORE you will like him and the harder it would be for you to leave him alone. So if you think NOTHING is going to happen, then why waste your time…
@ Louisiana Lover
I agree with @Ja’Nay. If you are one of those people that can, go ahead.
I’m pretty serious with this guy. He has 4, FOUR kids. If we get married does the CSC come out of my check also?
No it does not come out of your actual earnings but if you will be looking at it like his money is your money… Yes it will.
I have a friend who I am super cool with. He is NOT marriage material, but he is cool to hang with & pass time with. BUT……his breath be STANKING! He has silver teeth (a grill or whatever u call it) & i believe his real teeth are rotting underneath. He has a great sex game & I cant even take the oral for more than 10sec. But the breath….I mean, even when he is eating a mint, I STILL smell it. I almost wana vomit when he leaves saliva on my face from kissing me. He doesnt have dental insurance & im sure to repair his teeth or 4 him to get veneers would be $5,000+. If a mint dont help, i dont think brushing, flossing, or mouthwash would help. He needs a DENTIST! Any suggestions
Your “boo-thang” teeth are probably rotting under his grill. If that is the case there is no helping him until he decides to get MAJOR dental work! You remember when rapper, Lil’Wayne went to jail he had to get like 8 root canals to correct his teeth under his grill. I’m pretty sure that probably is what needs to be done with your boo.
The only thing I would suggest is duck and dodge his kisses. Bad breath is THE WORST
@RapidRelief
Yeahhhhh…bad breath is the worst. I don’t know how you do it.
Ummmm… I definitely could not be getting busy with someone with bad breath. That and body odor will be a deal breaker for me.
I was at the man’s house I have been “dating” for a while. The dinner we had a Mexican restaurant did a number on my stomach. My stomach was doing the wop, the mashed potatoes, and the moonwalk. I was FORCED to relieve myself in his bathroom. I felt so much better, but I did not anticipate him going in after me. I flushed as I pooped thinking that the smell would not get that bad. I even did a courtesy flush after it was all said and done. He came out and didn not say a word, but our usual playing hard to get moment. The moment where we make out and I say no and he persist and I say no did not happened. He acted uninterested in cuddling up with me.
Excuse my bluntness farts, periods, burps, taking a dump is ALL natural and you should not feel ashamed and have to hide it. What does he expect his wife to never release anything out of her body?
Well, men r funny like tht. U r still in the romancing stage & the man wants 2 see u as perfect. Having a odorous bowel movement at his house was a turn off. And, its not like u showered after, so……..I dnt think i would have “played” with u either. If ya’ll were married, thts different. But dating……yeah, he doesnt want to know that his girls guts smell like garbage (srry 4 being so blunt). He didnt have any spray in his bathroom? But, if u would have tried to hold it in, u would have had an accident on urself. Its life! U can make it up by dazzling him the next time yall see each other by looking the best & feeling the best abt urself.
When i spend the nite at a friends house, I have a overnite bag with toothpaste, toothbrush, condoms, gum, deodorant, air spray from Bath & Body works, soap, a towel, & an extra pair of panties.
I have been dating this guy for a few months. He is very nice,responsible, loving, and just a good guy in general. We slept together for the first and it was like sleeping with a baby carrot =|
LMAO…. Don’t know if you watched that HBO Series of Sex In The City but this reminds me of Charlotte when she married Trey. He was a very wealthy, very handsome, very nice established doctor but he had issues with getting it up and keeping it up. The sad part about this is Charlotte was holding out until they got married but they ended up attempting to have sex the night before the nuptials. She shrugged it off as him just being too excited but soon learned that he had issues… So better you found out sooner than later…
do it on top.
Well…. If it’s that small try anal sex. I’m serious. I was with someone who was small like that and we were able to have the best anal sex.
Dead! Tameka, why haven’t you commented before. Your bluntness is giving me life!
Put your legs straight up in the air around his neck so he can go deeper so it feels bigger!
My fiancee got a woman pregnant. She is now 5 months…I want nothing to do with her or the baby.
Sorry to hear that and I completely understand. When I bugged my boyfriend car I found out 2 different women had a baby from him born in the past 11 mos, the babies are 7 mos apart. He uses his bluetooth in the car so I could hear both sides of the conversation. Later I got into his cell phone and found their names and email addresses afterwhich I politely made up a ficticious Facebook account and befriended them. So he now has a white baby and a puerto rican baby. I’m not racist, I’m just bringing humor to a hurtful situation.
I didn’t want him to know that I bugged his car or went in his phone (I may have to do it again), so I told him that I received a Private call on my cell from a woman who told me the information. He got angry! Asked why the hell did I answer a Private call let alone listen to what a stranger had to say. Of course he denied everything. I even saw text messages between him and the women where they referenced the babies talking about baby appts and babysitters. I can’t believe he is just lying to me like that.
Right now I am biding my time. I have a few personal and financial things I need to get cleared up before I say “Bye Bye Baby”. When that “Bye Bye” day come I don’t know if I will play the conversations back to him or if I will just walk away and leave him clueless.
Damn, I can’t believe he was able to get away with this without me knowing it. I wasn’t on his nuts all the time during those months but I did not give him that much space. From reading the text he is visiting the babies and taking care of them financially. I guess when he leaves to go here or there he is doing his baby visits. Damn Shame… He is out there like that and not using a condom. Hell I’m a realist, I figured he was cheating every now and again but I didn’t know he was out fertilizing eggs.
What do you guys think? I’m to embarrassed to tell my friends and family what I discovered.
Dang, that’s a whole lot to digest 8:30 in the morning. I’ll have a better response later. My only question is HOW IN THE HELL DO YOU BUG A PERSON’S CAR?? Do you get the system from Radio Shack or Best Buy or is some exclusive website with that type of technology?
@Ebony, nothing fancy. Actually I used a voice activated tape recorder by Sony. It’s very small. I popped in some new AAA batteries, turned the volume up and under his drivers seat it went. I actually taped him for 2 days. The footage was crazy. I heard some other things that I still have not come to term with. I had to listen to the recordings in stages. For real! I couldn’t take it in all at one time. I heard the real raw truth.
@Tameka
Are you really bidding your time or do you want to be with him?
@Jackie O, honestly I go back and forth rather I am going to leave or stay. But in the meantime I will continue to get my finances in order and we will see.
Tameka, that is some drama girl. I don’t think I would be able to keep quiet. Although I give major cool points for being able to keep your composure until you get all of your ducks in a row. In some respect you are getting him without him even knowing it. One thing for sure you are living in truth and he is living a lie. I do however like the fact that he is taking care of his financial responsibility with these babies and spending time with them, that is important because it’s not the babies fault.
This reminds me of a couple in my hometown, and might I say these are church folks. The husband had another family across town. It was like common knowledge but no one spoke of it. He had like 5 or 6 kids with his wife and I think 3 with the other lady. I think the kids even went to school together. It’s like we all knew but no one said anything. The thing is his wife past away (I hate to say it but he should have died first) and you would think he would marry the woman he was cheating making babies with all those years… No he didn’t. Married someone totally different. SMDH… I will never understand these men creatures. LOL
But hang in there. I hope it all works out for you. Also, do tell us how you bugged his car.
@Missy, read what I wrote to Ebony. If you are planning on doing it just be ready to deal with what you may hear. Also, I’m hanging… He is looking at me all cross eyed because he don’t know what is going on. I have been about my business and I have also pulled back from him a bit. Actually he has been sticking close to home a lot lately. I think he can feel something is not right.
@ Tameka
Wow. I am sorry to hear about your situation. I do not know how you are able to compose yourself like that, because I certainly could not. I think you should have a plan in order, so when you have all your ducks in a row, you are able to walk away without ever going back. I know it is hard, I have been through alot in my lifetime that I can write a book series without even running out of life experiences and lessons. I really do feel your pain. Hang in there.
@Oasis,
U r attracting wht u dont want! When u go looking & searching 4 things, u will find it.
Work on YOU! Exercise, eat healthy, spend time with friends, go to the park & enjoy nature, or even volunteer somewhere. STOP making urself miserable….b/c when u r miserable & insecure that is the vibe u give off, & u will continue to attract negative things 2 u.
If he is doing dirt, it will come out. Focus on YOU, not his bad behavior. When u put the focus on urself, either he will get in line or u will decide 2 leave b/c u know u deserve better. And i will tell u this, men hate insecure women. It is NOT sexy. Confidence attracts a man. Boost ur confidence & self-esteem & ur r-ship will change. Wish u the best!
Its simple. Curiosity KILLED the cat. The more u search the more UR feelings get hurt. I agree w/ Tamekas friend y do all the seachin, diggin, & investigatin…if @ the end of the day u ain’t goin nowhere. Like R.Kelly said when a womans fed up there aint nothin u can do about it. u not fed up yet
I do not trust my boyfriend. I check his email, Facebook, Twitter, and cell phone every day. It is wearing me out. He says I’m loco (crazy), but in order for him not to cheat on me I have to stay on top of him.
I’m not a rship specialist by any means. Lord knows everytime I get into one I’m like a deer in headlights, but one thing I do know is you can’t stop a person from doing what they want to do. So, all that seaching and investigating means nothing if he wants do it. He’ll just find more creative ways to do it without you finding out. (LOL, I sound like my mom…she always told me that)
Oasis, I’m in a relationship like that. I use to be laid back with him as I believe everyone need their space every once in a while to do them but I soon realized that he was using his space to be with other women. When I found out about his outside activities of course there were major trust issues and I began to check everything… And when I say everything I mean everything. From his car, to his receipts, to his wife beaters (yes, wife beaters because there were a few times I found makeup on them which means in had to be in the act because the makeup wasn’t on his shirt), his phone (when I can break the code). Hell, I even bugged his car, (heard some things that I wasn’t prepared to hear).
One of my friends said to me… Why are you doing all that if you’re not going to leave him. So I stopped. I’m not ready to terminate the relationship right now for various reasons so I might as well not make myself miserable for being Inspector Gadget. Now if it is out in the open I am going to address it. But I have turned in my P.I. Badge for now. LOL
Hi Tameka =)
LOL because some parts of your comment was hilarious, but what your friend said was very right. I’m actually going to make a mental note of that for my future rship.
Its simple. Curiosity KILLED the cat. The more u search the more UR feelings get hurt. I agree w/ Tamekas friend y do all the seachin, diggin, & investigatin…if @ the end of the day u ain’t goin nowhere. Like R.Kelly said when a womans fed up there aint nothin u can do about it. u not fed up yet
@ Oasis
I have been there done that and more. At the end of the day, you have to know what you can tolerate and what you won’t. I agree with Ebony and Tameka, a person is going to do what they want to do and there is nothing we can do to stop it. I believe you will reach your breaking point; an epiphany, if you will. Just be honest with yourself.
AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!! You said we could scream!
LOL…i sure did! =)