“I got a bartending job.”
My friend said, “Why? I thought you already had a job.”
The Loser
December 10, 2012 by 6 Comments
“Maybe my brother is right, I need to go out.” I grabbed my phone to text the guy I met while I was grocery shopping. I texted, “What’s up?”
Mr. No Good
December 3, 2012 by 17 Comments
Dead Batteries
June 28, 2012 by Leave a Comment
“I’ll be rocking on my babe…rocking, rocking on my babe. Swirling on my babe…swirling, swirling on my babe.” I was singing the hell out of Beyoncé’s “Dance for You” when I saw a red light appear on my dashboard. I thought, “What is that? The engine? The battery?” I turned down the radio and noticed my car was slowing down. “This would happen to me” I thought and then the car completely stopped.
Crazy = Caring
June 21, 2012 by 5 Comments
My friend called me at 7AM on Saturday morning and said, “What the hell went wrong last night that had you calling me at 4AM.”
I cleared my throat and adjusted myself in my bed and said, “Everything!”
To Wong Foo
April 30, 2012 by 4 Comments
A random woman sat next to me and my friend at Blue Martini’s bar. She looked in my direction and said, “You look like trouble!”
I cut my eyes to the right to look at her and said, “Oh okay.” My friend looked at the woman and said, “What do you mean by that?”
The Cheating Curve
April 13, 2012 by 2 Comments
I said to my male friend, “Oh my goodness! It looks like somebody keyed your car, but they used a machete.”
“No, she used airplane paint thinner! It thins the paint”
The Legal Girlfriend
March 28, 2012 by 5 Comments
Where you going?” I asked my mother.
“To the post office. What are your plans for the day?”
“I didn’t have any concrete plans yet, but maybe…”
“Ebony there’s a man lying in the grass. I think he’s dead.”
Ball of Confusion
March 22, 2012 by 2 Comments
“Your phone stay going off”, my friend said to me.
“It’s just that guy I met a few days ago. I told you about him, right?”
“Who?”
The Ex-Girlfriend
March 19, 2012 by 4 Comments
My mom said to me, “Where did you go last night?”
“Uhhh a birthday party.”
“With who?”
“This guy named Mr. Military. I met him earlier yesterday.”
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